Friend from class XI & XII says:
Hi
Friend from class XI & XII says:
What’s up?
IHM says:
Hi
IHM says:
how are you?
Friend from class XI & XII says:
How was Diwali?
IHM says:
ok ok
Friend from class XI & XII says:
I'm good
IHM says:
how was yours?
Friend from class XI & XII says:
beautiful rangoli you made
Friend from class XI & XII says:
v good
IHM says:
Daughter not me
IHM says:
loves making rangoli
Friend from class XI & XII says:
hmmmmn ....daughters!!!!
IHM says:
that's about the only daughterly thing she does
Friend from class XI & XII says:
boyz were least bothered
IHM says:
ya?
Friend from class XI & XII says:
Son #2 of course put up the lights
Friend from class XI & XII says:
he's handy around the house that way
IHM says:
Daughter helped with that too....she is the handy-girl
IHM says:
it's not sons or daughter, just a matter of interest
Friend from class XI & XII says:
Gender does make a difference!!!!
IHM says:
Like how?
Friend from class XI & XII says:
And why not...........i don't find anything strange in that
IHM says:
Not strange just untrue
Friend from class XI & XII says:
Ha....here you go again
IHM says:
I love to do a lot of stereotypically considered manly things
IHM says:
Love to watch the car being serviced!! Taking pictures, gadgets, gym, ... love dogs- all manly things
IHM says:
I LOVE discussions and debates
You have just sent a nudge.
IHM says:
Did you like my blog?
Friend from class XI & XII says:
i don't care much about discussing ..........
IHM says:
so you are more feminine
Friend from class XI & XII says:
i think its boring....i mean its not that that i'm very rigid about my ideas
Friend from class XI & XII says:
i mean they just fluctuate with issues and situations
Friend from class XI & XII says:
when i say, i miss having a daughter. i just feel maybe .....
Friend from class XI & XII says:
things would be better if there was another girl in the house
IHM says:
no I can imagine that
Friend from class XI & XII says:
now i don't mean things are bad........just different
IHM says:
but they are no different. Kids are just kids
IHM says:
Tho’ it's like having a best friend at home
Friend from class XI & XII says:
Maybe she would've been interested in rangolis, decorations, cooking, in other finer skills..........
Friend from class XI & XII says:
but i know she maynot ........then it may have been difficult to handle....
IHM says:
she likes cooking, but Son baked a chocolate cake for Diwali, he hates Indian sweets
Friend from class XI & XII says:
Son #1 is an excellent cook...........
Friend from class XI & XII says:
Son # 2 makes pop corn; mine never turn out like his
IHM says:
That is what I mean
IHM says:
why bind them in manmade rules, let them grow and be creative, whatever their interests
Friend from class XI & XII says:
of course.....who's stopping them or denying that
IHM says:
I know you won't do that, I feel you say this ‘daughters are like that’ thing just like that,
Friend from class XI & XII says:
Still the basic difference between the genders can't be denied
IHM says:
of course they are different but there are no stereotypes
Friend from class XI & XII says:
.....so we are saying the same things.............only in different words
IHM says:
As a kid I used to fight with mum if someone said 'your daughters have grown up now they should help you in the kitchen' in a patronising tone, we never let her force us to learn to cook, you remember how I was...
Friend from class XI & XII says:
I know what you mean but I also remember you saying that you wish your mom had made you learn cooking
Friend from class XI & XII says:
So.........it’s not about the skills you learn or don't
IHM says:
Yeah but today I can say with pride that she was right in not forcing even in those days
Friend from class XI & XII says:
I think its momentary feelings
IHM says:
All kids should help all parents. No given rigid roles...skills are good, one should be encouraged to learn but NOT because one is a boy or a girl.
Friend from class XI & XII says:
phew....yes ma'm. I AGREE
IHM says:
LOL
IHM says:
:)
Friend from class XI & XII says:
i like your vehemence about these issues
IHM says:
Okay tell me what you think of my blog
Friend from class XI & XII says:
i read it in a glance...........like impatiently.....but whatever i could make of it, i think it was excellent
Friend from class XI & XII says:
now i will read it with more interest and patience
IHM says:
I am going to add this conversation minus our names...
Friend from class XI & XII says:
OH.......really.GREAT
Friend from class XI & XII says:
send me the link again
IHM says:
okaaaa
Friend from class XI & XII says:
LINK???? send me again
IHM says:
http://lifeofanindianhomemaker.blogspot.com/
Friend from class XI & XII says:
i read this one, threat revenge one, so she is in Texas?
IHM says:
ya
Friend from class XI & XII says:
it gives you a chance to voice your opinion and maybe make ...give a different perspective
Friend from class XI & XII says:
Double standards
Friend from class XI & XII says:
I know that the actual RSS workers are the real social activists
Friend from class XI & XII says:
i have see them in my family
IHM says:
but
Friend from class XI & XII says:
I even heard them saying that with time, things have changed, now its only the greed for power and popularity is what is driving them
IHM says:
and now affron terrorism
IHM says:
saffron
Friend from class XI & XII says:
they are not what the original RSS used to be
Friend from class XI & XII says:
chalo bye for now
IHM says:
ya
Friend from class XI & XII says:
yeah.........and much more and in the most hideous way
IHM says:
can you imagine rioting first, then now planting bombs
Friend from class XI & XII says:
actualy its so disgusting.........
IHM says:
yes.
Friend from class XI & XII says:
all this politics
IHM says:
more for someone who has seen how they were earlier
Friend from class XI & XII says:
well....just a tip of the iceberg
Friend from class XI & XII says:
its terrible
IHM says:
okay bye..they are all clamouring for attention here, the kids, the dogs everyone!!
Friend from class XI & XII says:
i can't imagine how or why the Centre is quiet???
Friend from class XI & XII says:
chalo bye for now
IHM says:
bye
23 comments:
Wow...you were having a serious debate with your friend :) Did you just get back in touch or you were friends all these years?
Homecooked More like fighting :)) Been in touch, with one odd year missed in between ... Thank God for the internet now there's no risk of losing contact :)
@IHM- I was like you when younger. Because I had brothers & only I was asked to learn cooking & not them , I vehemently opposed & ended up being seriously lacking in that department.
Nice conversation there :)
Monika.ansh But it did me, and I am sure you either, no harm :) I wrote a post on how I nearly fainted in horror when our first guest invited themselves for dinner, if inclined you can read it here, http://lifeofanindianhomemaker.blogspot.com/2008/04/i-now-pronounce-you-man-and-cook-you.html
Thanks. I read that and had a good laugh. I seriously need that kind of opportunity. In my kind of joint family, I never HAD to do it. & I cannot even boil rice. But I know that if it really comes to it, I'll be a quick learner :)
that was a strange kind of conversation going....that can happen only amongst those who dont care to be politically correct with each other...
I think what your friend yearns for is the ideal picture of a daughter that parents who dont have one, have.
you know like those who dont have a son imagine that had he been there he would always repair all that was wrong etc etc...
Guess reality always is different from the imagined.
Pinku Yeah, true, girls are not always girlie girls. Just like boys may have no interest in daddy's pastimes.
You've been tagged by me!
Opinions, opinions, opinions.
If all people thought the same way, would blogging have existed, I wonder..
friends are good fun..
Don`t u feel that stereotyping has been shattered to a grt extent? Yes my mom forced us to learn cooking,sewing even embroidery and knitting,crochet etc (and i m so happy to have these skills now-although at that point I ABSOLUTELY detested mom!)..i have never even thought about teaching any of these only to my daughter..my son is more into cooking and baking..
But I do agree that gender stereotyping is very much around
IHM, you are not letting go of the subject of feminism, I see.:)
Now read my post in answer to your tag, and tell me what you think.:)
You are just like me on chat. Hahaha. I sometimes behave like that, making the other person see the point.
Loved it. Thanks for sharing it 'unedited'
I hated cooking and refuse to embroider, crochet and mend even now. My sons are really good cooks, my DIL refuses to enter the kitchen. Frankly she is such a bad cook, am grateful she doesnt try to cook ;). Gender stereotyping is there only if you want to look at things that way.
Hmm..it does make sense now...most of girls start yawning once I start talking about the non-entertaining issues like politics and tech. I can see from this conversation that many of these girls are programmed to be uninterested with the excuse that those things are male stuff.
Indyana Will do it asap :)
Does it matter Yes, lol yes, the best part of blogging is lots of opinions :)
My space Yes it has been shattered, and thank God :) Both my kids enjoy experimenting in the kitchen too.
Gender stereotyping also is more of lip service ... though some people still do genuinely believe some jobs are meant for a particular gender!
manju This was in the drafts, I thought now that we are on the subject might as well post it :))
Mampi LOL I try not to do it :( ... but there are some issues that simply get my goat :)
Rockus You know it does happen, we do programme boys to never cry and to take no interest in their appearance, and girls to be uninterested in Politics!
What a loss of talent :(
Ritu LOL @ "Frankly she is such a bad cook, am grateful she doesnt try to cook ;)"
Proud of you Ritu!!!!!!!!!!!!
In most cases it is the parents who assign gender roles to their kids. The girl will learn cooking, while the boy will be handy arnd the house. If the parents are open minded, I guess that is one step towards not instilling such sterotypes at a young age!
I've only heard too many guys mention to their wives, "my mom never asked for help in the kitchen". If only she had!
Jira And in India there are some jobs that are considered beneath men! We can so easily remove these prejudices by not letting our children be trapped into stereotyped roles.
But fortunately this is changing :)
oh my mom and me always have these gender stereo typing arguments... though we were all sisters so it was all the same and I dont know a thing of the girly stuff.. cant even stich a button together properly after marriage when my trouser's button broke, hubby did it for me and my mil freaked out....
its all the conditioning that we do since birth which makes the differences... starting from the toys we buy.... cars, trucks, building blocks for boys.... dolls, kitchen sets etc for girls... it starts right there and never ends
Hey, nice post! Great idea for a post too. So true, our kids turn out exactly how we let them! If we let them!
Me too am interested in many "masculine" pursuits, but also some "feminine" ones! So what does that make me? :)
Monika True, it's just conditioning. We do them so much harm by discouraging them from pursuing their natural interests.
Nita LOL :))) Me too love driving and exercising; also love dancing and painting .. What does that make us!!?
True to form, the speaker-up-for-rights-for-all... lol!
Loved the chat, and yes, why is it that people will simply not let go of gender bias even with their own kids?
A former Principal of our school once pulled up a group of girls who were playing cards [they should not have, that is another thing altogether], during a free period; tenth class. The way she got at them was laughable- she said something like - how can you do this [play cards] being girls??? - the girls, one of them, went really hyper, but sensibly did not say anything there, though later she came to me [was temporarily in charge of that class] and asked me how it is that someone so "learned" could have such an opinion.. ! Girls cant? So boys can? It was difficult, but I did sympathize, empathize really, and told her that I could not offer any other explanation other than the fact that She was a very traditional and conventional, old fashioned person, perhaps, and so let it just be.. :D Felt guilty as hell, for not raising the issue then, and still do, but you reminded me of that now with this post!
Things aren't v much different even now, as far as such thinking goes, but the only difference is that I have decided to be more vocal.. lol! I insist that girls play cricket and football [they have lessons about them, and they need to know, lol!] just to know more about the game.. and more tomboys please..:D The boys are like... :-o!!!
Have rambled on more than I should have.. :) I loved this chat, really did!
reminded me of a chat with a friend whos the closest to my heart...and we dont worry about being polite and all or pc too:)
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