Sunday, March 29, 2009

Said Noodle Strap to the Sari - I

55 WORDS FICTION

Flashing Traffic Lights

Sari clad Susheela glared at the girl in the next car. Music blared though the traffic. Long nails tapped brazenly on the steering wheel. Couldn’t she cover her tattooed shoulder? Then they blame the men....

The light turns green.

A knock at her car window. Startled, she turned to him. And turned away, red faced.

A literary work will be considered 55 Fiction if it has:

Fifty-five words or less (A non-negotiable rule)

A setting, One or more characters, Some conflict, and A resolution.

(Not limited to moral of the story)

Edited to Add:

Urban Dictionary ( http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=flasher ) describes FLASHER as,

Flasher:

1. A person, usually a man, who takes pleasure in exhibiting his private parts to random people in public. A cliché flasher wears a dust-coat, flabs of which he spreads in front of his victim(s).

2. A person who interupts tennis/soccer or any other kind of match by running onto it naked.

Flashers do it usually without a particular reason, for the sake of doing this.

Ad.1 While I was going to meet you I came across a flasher, lurking in shrubs. He had nothing to be proud of!

Ad.2 Kournikova was to serve when a flasher burst in and ran with his fingers V-shaped.


39 comments:

Rakesh said...

See... ditto my comment on the previous post :)

Chikki said...

What happened in the end?

Is there a part two?:-(

Indian Home Maker said...

@Rakesh Hey, this just something I feel strongly about ... and these stories are supposed to have a moral, mine is more in support of the supposedly immoral.

@Chikki Read the 55 words story title, 'Flashing Traffic Lights' and then the labels, and then reread and guess ...

:)
This story ends right here. My family thought nobody will understand, so I added so many clues!

R.K. said...

Hey IHM !

You seem so desperately bothered about dressing !

Can i suggest something? Next time lets have the other side. Dont you think that the ones that fight for right on behalf of a fraternity are actually a very small percentage of those in fraternity who actually understand the motive of the particular right? Don't you believe that most of people in this world are just brainless COPIERS?

Sahaja said...

hmm my comment is a bit like Chikki's ...is there part 2?

coming to post, to me, dressing is wearing what you are comfortable with! I see many girls, wearing small dresses and they keep contantly pulling it down which seems to attrackt more attention! On the other hand, there are girls who wear a saree and constantly check if everything is tight enough [not realising they are doing it]
so it all depends on what you like wearing and what u wud feel comfortable in![ what say u?

Indian Home Maker said...

@RK lol I won't say brainless but copiers yes, ...but that does not mean they don't deserve the right. In fact all the more reason for writing about what Noodle strap said to the sari :)
And how much can you say in 55 words? (I find it tough)

Indian Home Maker said...

@Sahaja Yes, I agree with you Sahaja :)
Being comfortable is important, and in fact I would even say who cares if the person is not even comfortable, it's her own problem. We kind of, put too much stress how correctly, 'properly' one must dress, no?

Reema said...

Didnt get the story :(

Indian Home Maker said...

@Reema She thought she was protected in a sari, but she wasn't, the clue is in the FLASHING Traffic Lights :)

Winnie the poohi said...

I am not sure of the end.. did the policeman tell her to move or was it someone cat calling her?

erm ?

Indian Home Maker said...

@Winnie the Poohi -She thought she was protected in a sari, but she wasn't, the clue is in the FLASHING Traffic Lights :)
Do you get it now ....???
:)

Usha Pisharody said...

Good one!

A blow below the belt I'd say! So now we know, dont we, that its not the noodle straps, but even ordinary, stereotyped women have to face flashing at traffic lights. I love the dig there!

You're getting to be a pro too! :)

Aneela Z said...

IHM: I guess none of them have been flashed to date...hence the clamor for closure.

Solilo said...

Friends,I don't think there is any part 2.

While the sari clad was being judgemental about noodle strap, she got a cheapo knocking on her car window.

I believe IHM was making a statement that women's attire is not the reason behind men's ogling.

I LOVE it! :)

Piper .. said...

I guessed as much - that she thought she was protected in a sari.But really not quite. And I thought it to be a brilliant piece. But then I read your reply to Winnie the Pooh and now I`m confused! what`s with the flashing traffic lights? :( You must be exasperated by the readers` comprehension abilities or lack of it :(

Chikki said...

Hahaha..

I suck at this 55 thing I guess, I have read it a zillion times now, I do not know what are you trying to say?
Can you write another post to explain this post plzzzzz??
Hint --> Feel free to use words, don't be under the pressure to use less than 55 words..;-).

Madhu said...

The best thing about this story are the subtle clues :P

I want to know how Susheela behaved when she saw another noodle strapped girl at perhaps another traffic light or a park/bus stop (Yes..in broad daylight too !!)

Indian Home Maker said...

@Usha Pisharody, Aneela, Solilo Thank You :)

@Chikki A flasher knocked at her car window, alhough she was wearing a sari. Basically saying that traditional clothing is no security from sexual harassment :)

@Piper My family had warned me that this was tooooo subtle :) So I made it even more complicated with too many clues I guess :(

Varunavi said...

lol he is a policeman,
She didnt notice the green signal is on and her eyes were on the other car.....

Indian Home Maker said...

@varunavi Lol no! He is a flasher :) I think I made it too difficult to guess ..
:(

Surbhi said...

Awesome! Take a bow. This is what subtle sarcasm is all about. Hits right where it should!

Devil Incarnate said...

Oooh that was a nice way 2 start, i was initialy confused, bt later.... got it, tat was a nice wrk of fiction :)

MultiMenon said...

Nice beginning..I was jus wishing for a different style of writing from u and here it is..!! totally awesome..!! :)

Keep up the good work..

Nikhil

*I wished so,not coz ur previous genre sucks,but then jus being wishfully thinking of a change.. :)

Jinu P said...

oh this was awesommme! this should be like a tag u know, write one fun story - 55 words or less.. and ur story kicked asses of quite a few - saree or no saree ---dash--- will remain ---dash--- (fill it with as many words as you like :P )

sandeep said...

beautiful and subtle ... yet a powerful message

Crafty Shines said...

no two ways to say it....me loved it!!
i adore narrations that leave much to the power of derivation. the subtlety this is beautiful!!!

do i get a prize for getting it right at the first read? :D

hitch writer said...

I must thank Solilo !

Unless her comment, I would not understand !!

sheeesh.... totally sheesh at my dumbness....

:(

and now having understood it...

wtg !! IHM you rock !! even more !!! lol...

Masood said...

Brilliant!!!
Couldn't figure out on the first go but 'flasher' definition made life much easier! ;)

Monika said...

lovely IHM... simply loved it

Smitha said...

IHM!! That was fantastic!!!!

I so agree with you that harrassment of any sort has little to do with the way one is dressed! I read it yest - but could not comment from my phone - was dying to come and comment!

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

An absolute flash of brilliance! Simply loved it!

N said...

Awesome 55 er IHM.. and so very true...
sometimes lecherous men also have their preconceived notions that a sari clad behenji would not retaliate and walk away red faced and pretend it never happened..(and that again may not always be true).. why is this world full of people who are so judgmental about appearances / attires

Piper .. said...

:) after your not so subtle explanation, I feel so terribly dumb! :) But Of course!!!! :):)

tearsndreams said...

loved it!
You have inspired me to do more of these.

homecooked said...

Superb IHM! Subtle but powerful.

Chirag said...

Don't judge book, by its cover ;)

Preeti said...

so true ..its really difficult to convey a message in 55 words ..this was awesome ...loved it ...

Thanks for visiting my page ..

Charakan said...

did not get it at first.So did not comment.Now with ur add ons it is easy even for me.
Hey great way to propagate the message but should keep the IQ of us in mind

roop said...

where is my comment!!!!! gosh ... me and ur blog have some animosity!!!! i post, it disappears! i read this a while ago and absolutely loved loved loved loved it. was reading all ur 55ers again. this one has to be the best of 'em all. :)