Sunday, September 28, 2008

Shahrukh, Smoking and a Fan's Son ;)

My son loved Shahrukh Khan when he was a kid. Once I mentioned I had graduated the same time Shahrukh Khan did, and from the same city. Son who was four and half then, wanted to know "What did he tell you to tell me?"

Yesterday Son said some classmates were trying smoking in the school washroom. I resisted the urge to pounce "Did you join them?" He continued, "I wonder what it feels like."
He is sixteen, and he has seen a chain smoking tuition teacher cough and wheeze.
He knows his parents are health obsessed and they have never smoked. Not even tried.
He has been told:
We have never been curious about smoking, we feel there are far healthier things to be curious about;
We heart our lungs;
Healthy and strong guys look macho, smokers are NOT cool (or hot, whatever...);
Gymming is cool, smoking is so not.

Normally when my kids tell me their friends are doing something like, driving without license, missing classes, buying clothes/shoes/etc, eating out, using better cell phones, it only means one thing, that they also want to do the same.

Son hasn't been a Shahrukh fan for years now, in fact I am the Shahrukh fan in the family, so maybe Ramadoss means Shahrukh fan's children are at a risk of being influenced by King Khan smoking inside his make up van ;)

PS Somebody advise me on what to say to make sure this fast growing young man never smokes. Do I try this advise on Aaarti's blog?

27 comments:

D said...

Children will do what they want to. You can say nothing to stop them. You can only tell them what the consequences of their actions will be.

Indian Home Maker said...

@D I guess now onwards one just has to believe that they are wise enough not to try something that might harm them...

Vinod_Sharma said...

First of all, you should get rid of the "make sure he never smokes" mindset. It might just drive him to it. He already knows what smoking does and has seen that you both don't.

At best he will try out smoking casually, just to know what all the noise is all about. He should, if he feels the urge to. Let him. And encourage him to not hide it from you. And when he dose tell you, he should know that you will not go ballistic and will understand and educate him sensibly. If you can do that, he will never get addicted. That is what is really important.

Indian Home Maker said...

@Vinod Sharma I agree addiction is the only concern.
He will tell me if he does try.

chandni said...

hey....

a young person's mentality is - the more u tell me not to do something, more my need to see what the hype is all about...

Don't make a "big deal" about it....he may never feel the urge to try!

Priyanka said...

Show him the joke on Aarti's blog :)
You can't do anything except probably tell him that 'you really won't like your son to be a smoker but you can't stop him from doing it. So its upto him'.
Its a teenage itch. Many people try it during their college years just to look 'cool', then they just outgrow it. I'm sure you already know that.

Indian Home Maker said...

@Chandni You are right I guess!

@Priyanka I showed him this post also :)
He says he does not wish to smoke but when he saw them trying he felt like trying!

Imp's Mom said...

My dad was the one who introduced me to drinking, he always believed that its better for his children to experiment in front of him rather than his back. he never smoked, and I don't either, but I did try it once, just to see what the fuss is all about and yuck it was terrible.

Let him try it. the more you say no, the more he will want to do it. let him know the harmful effects, I'd say scare him a bit and give him the option of trying it in front of you. Trust him to make the decision and I'm sure he will not take it up. I think he is also trying to gauge your reaction, when he speaks of his friends smoking....about how averse you are to him smoking or wanting to check out what the fuss is all about...

Good Luck and let us know how it went..

Aneela Z said...

Australia has a really "graphic" anti-smoking media campiagn..its the toughest in the world...enough to put the Fear of the Lord in you and you will shy away from even smelling a fragrant candle..should check on youtube if they have something...make your kids watch it every morning and watch them walking glassy eyed to the door.. yup its definitely serious stuff..not along the lines of the tame warnings on the cig. packets "low birth weight babies" which makes the average kid shrug his shoulders "that's not me"..Thailand had started putting up images of smoker's teeth and torsoes on packets and I would catch people doodling on them...nothing scares a smoker than actual images of nicotine going down the lung...khair, whatever works...best of luck!!

indyana said...

As if it makes matters any better my 17 year old son says,"Ma, I will smoke cigars,unlike dad,who smokes cigarettes!"...oh god! and it was these very kids that would secretly break his ciggies and dump his lighter,etc!Somebody pleaseee Tell me what DO I SAY to that !!!

Indian Home Maker said...

@Imp's Mom You know my dad did this, he suggested we try smoking - I refused, my brother refused, but my sister - always the adventurous one in the family agreed, choked, coughed, and continues to smoke, on and off, till today.
But he knows about the harmful effects, and about how most people who are inclined to try are also likely to continue.

Indian Home Maker said...

@Aneela Z Yes, I think 'graphic' anti smoking media campaign, casually dropped information at home and the knowledge that it will not be appreciated (even if we cannot stop him) by his otherwise almost no restrictions parents - might help...Thanks:)

@Indyana LOL :) At least they know they can discuss it openly!
The trouble is that the indirect pressure to smoke is going to remain there for a few years.

Chirax said...

Indian Home Maker, Come on. I know you will always want the best for your son, but let him make the choice that way it will be permanent and not just to please his parents. What Say?

Nimmy said...

I am a die hard fan of SRK,though i ahte smokers ..

I like Mr Ramdoss..He is speaking less and acting more..

Uh,i heard hotels are complaining against law abnning smoking in hotels..Instead,they want non smokers like me to die of passive smoking..What a great world..

Indian Home Maker said...

@Chirax LOL, Like I have a choice! :) But on a serious note, I think you are right. The decision has to come from him. We cannot force our wishes on him.

@nimmy I don't like Ramadoss unnecessarily harassing my fav star. If Shahrukh Khan wants to smoke inside his own house, it is his business. Ramadoss is only targeting him to get some free publicity.

Mampi said...

it is heartening to see that he keeps discussing these things with you about how some particular guys tried smoking or what which one possesses. You are the wiser of us all, i would just say that listening to him is actually helping to push these things out.
Just tell him one thing, everything is not for everybody. And he has to set his own priorities right.

Mama - Mia said...

thats a tricky one, aint it?!

i have a feeling he wont really bother! peer pressure can be a killer, but with hubby and you around, he hopefully wont get too curious!! :)

cheers!

abha

Pinku said...

hey!

you have instilled the right ideas in his head, the rest I think its best to wait and watch.

by now he knows all the pros and cons...and even if he experiments dont go at him with tongs...just say that now that you have had a smoke, hope u wont make a habit out of it.

Teenage is the time to rebel. So dont be too strict. its great that ur son confides in you, keep the faith.

myheadtrip said...

Have not come to the stage where I should worry about my son picking such things up; I do worry a bit about how I will tackle it. Will ask you for tips then ;)
But my take is; to just educate the kid. If he tries it, let him. He will learn. My soon to be ex was almost a chain smoker. I at better times told him I hate smoking as a habit. He left it; has not smoked since. What I have learnt is that if something gets to be an addiction; it is totally up to the person to give it up. One can only give gyaan mix it with humour as Calvin or be serious and show horrifying consequences.
Sorry...I rambled away a lot! :)

Indian Home Maker said...

@mampi Yes,listening is very important...so long as he can talk about it.

@Mama-mia Deep down I also have that feeling :)

@Pinku And he is a rebel [without a cause]:)

@myheadtrip Thanks, loved this rambling :) LOL, like the idea of gyan mixed with humour :)

quirky indian said...

There's really nothing you can do, except tell him of the health issues associated with smoking. It's then his choice. And that's how I think it should be.

Cheers,

Quirky Indian
http://quirkyindian.wordpress.com

Indian Home Maker said...

@quirky indian Yes, you are right :) It has to be his own decision.

Monika,Ansh said...

I think you cannot do much to stop them. It's just their own decision & you have not much control.
But the good thing is that he can talk to you about it & get it out of his system.

roop rai said...

gotta let them make their own decisions. that's the experience of a daughter speaking .... who just stepped out of 'home'. :)

Morpheus said...

they will try things, thats human nature, as long as the need to lie to you, due to your possible reaction, does not happen you will be fine. I have seen my father smoke all my life, and i was never tempted. did not think about it, it was never made into a big deal. Each child is an individual who makes his/her own decisions in good time..as long as they have the ability to make right and wrong decisions without the door to home/ your heart closing..its fine.

sunder said...

well i did not smoke etc because my parents had a great trust on me..rather blind also..i did not want to break that trust..it is always difficult to break trust..

one can add saying..hey son if you want to smoke, it is your will..but please do it in your own earnings...by that time he will know the ill effects of smoking...

Anonymous said...

I wouldnt suggest you to show him images of lungs of any person who smoked. Also, ask him to read comments from online forums of people trying to quit and how hard it is to quit. I am one of them. Kids still have a chance, they can choose not to smoke. I took to smoking to look cool, with my bike and in a pub those days.How I wish I could go back in time to 1997 and not smoke that first cigarette. :(