Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Our India and Their India.

Our India.

One in which we discuss if our daughters should be choosing Science or Humanities. One India discusses if a dear daughter looks better in a blue noodle strap top or in a black halter neck dress.
One India is explaining their assets and investments to their children, daughters included.
One India is daughters cheerfully opening champagne bottles to celebrate.
One India is parents dropping their kids and friends (girls and boys) to the club for a dance.
One India has daughters sitting on the kitchen counter, reading out from Chicken Soup for the Teenagers Soul to parents trying some new recipe.
One India has parents sending a daughter for a holiday abroad(/camps/traveling with friends?) on her 17th birthday - alone.
One India is planning driving classes for a soon to be adult child ... a girl, because autos are not safe.
One India sometimes might forget to tell this apple of their eye that their is a world outside, of inferior men who think she is not an equal citizen.

The other India might just accept that molesting can be a debatable topic.

He belongs to the Other India.
He's still stuck in an era where if a woman is beaten by her husband she has probably burnt the rice.
He comes from a era where a woman cannot even dry her under wear where it can be seen.
Where men walk around scratching and shirtless, with an obscenely wrapped lungi, but women must not, cannot even ask for a painkiller for period cramps without pretending a headache.
Where women must bathe in any weather before sun rise because ...
Where it is dangerous to use common toilets at night. Men lurk to wait for some characterless, immoral woman who might need to use these shared loos.

So please do not say these attacks are not against the poor women.
When the privileged ones are attacked the underprivileged become even more vulnerable.

This man comes from Hubli?
So he comes from a place so seeped in Indian culture that women in villages around there still stuff red chili in their children's eyes if they are being troublesome.

When they go for working in the fields they tie (yes like puppies) their two year olds in an open area outside their house so the neighbours and people passing by can watch over them. Generally they are gone for many hours, so they leave water and 'pao' (bun).

When these children are a little older they are sent to cities to work as domestic helpers. So at least they get decent meals.

Where if they really don't like one of their many children the parents just let this child die of neglect.

Where a man only gets rebuked when he tries to burn his sleeping family of five daughters and one son, while they slept. (His wife was threatening to tell his soon to be second wife's parents, that her 37 year husband was not an eligible bachelor.)

If he has grown up near Hubli, it's easy to understand why he doesn't think molesting the girls was wrong.
He cannot be expected to understand that the women who send him those Pink Chaddis do not consider him worthy of a more intellectual debate.

He is not.

REMEMBER TO WEAR PINK (real men can wear pink, only fifth-fail-molesters-can't) TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT FOR THIS PROTEST.


shail said...

Yeah, I read about this 'intellectual' debate he was talking about. 'Intellectual' debate about how to grope and paw girls relaxing in a pub perhaps??!!

Devil Incarnate said...

Its sooo true, that india ia again divided on this basis. The one moves forward with the time and the one who stay where they stood, though the times move on.

Its quite surprising that Indian, ppl with such high moral values and such higly educated ppl, are going worse than the Talibans when in it comes to women. No matter how much modern we are some ppl still like to see them the old way. Well...... we will move, and they will stay again closing their eyes, coz they feel we are going behind americans, coz they feel we r going away from the centuries old traditions.

I just remember the ad of airtel, One indian changed gave freedom to india, one indian gave 'zero' to the world, One indian made 'computers' an household name, One indian started the craziness towards emails... well the list of 'One indian' goes on...
So' one indian' can make a change, Whether its You or Me...doesnt matter..
I will do my part..

Aathira said...

I have to congratulate you on such a wonderful post. Till now I used to wonder that can just a school drop out be so insane/empty in the upper half.

But reading this post, I feel he is just himself, and we need to teach him and his goons to stay away with their 'moral' thoughts

Monika said...

IHM did i miss something, not sure whether I fully got this...

Surbhi said...

I definitely identify with the first India (minus the opening of bubbly to celebrate and parents sending on a holiday alone). Especially the driving lesson. My Dad personally taught me, apart from the driving school, waking me up at 5 in the morning (grrr...) so I could learn on empty roads. He also insisted I learn to change tires, coz I shouldn't be dependent on anyone, which was the whole point in learning driving according to him.
But I so don't identify with the second India. I mean, it sounds so unreal that if I didn't know ou, IHM, I'd have thought you've cooked it up just to get people to read your post. People put red chillies in their kids' eyes? Really???

Anonymous said...

I dunno why but every 14 Feb, I make sure I'm wearing somethin pink or red. A pink shirt or a Red tie... This year more so :)

Anonymous said...

this one goes straight in the readers' mind and stays there forever.. i am speechless..

Pixie said...

I know... its so sad really.. and like i said earlier - for every 1 step we take - people make sure we go back 10 steps.. and the whole process of retracing our steps begins...

@lankr1ta said...

IHM, there is also that India which wonders why the need for a debate on molesting women- the sluts ask for it by their behavior- not learning o make rotis, but pubbing away.

There is another very interesting debate I am reading these days- that this pub protest is an "elite" thing and therefore it is not Indian enough. Mostly the people who write thus are upset that the 26/11 Mumbai attacks generated outcries because they are "elite". These same people would not raise a finger or do too much about any non-elite taking away fo rights either.

@lankr1ta said...

Oh and IHM the pink chaddi campaign has gotten the attention of the Huffington Post

Bones said...

Good post as usual...

Muthalik is anything but "empty in the upper half"...He is highly intelligent but insane...The basic thing is: He is a politician and wants power and control (like all men)...How does he get it? By preying on the disenchanted and unemloyed youth to carry his message...How does he get himself on the front page? By attacking 'modern' women in a pub - a guranteed front page news item...He even informed the media beforehand...So, who is unintelligent - he or us (for giving him what he wants - publicity)

Indyeah said...

''He cannot be expected to understand that the women who send him those Pink Chaddis do not consider him worthy of a more intellectual debate.
He is not.''

and that right there says it all...

way to go IHM for that call to throng the streets!:)
And I am so with you on this one..
(real men can wear pink, only fifth-fail-molesters-can't)

Great idea this wearing pink one:)

''So please do not say these attacks are not against the poor women.
When the privileged ones are attacked the underprivileged become even more vulnerable.''

bang on IHM!YES THIS IS THE CORE ISSUE...when the ones who are on the path of demanding their rights as an equal citizen of India and are getting close to it are threatened like this,what hope do the others have?the ones who are dreaming of getting here someday?
We who dream of getting them here someday?
how can we give up and let people say its just about the elite class,the city women...


Chirag said...

@Our India.
Totally on your side.

@The other India
Disturbs a lot of me, inside, the caste bias, the gender inequitably and .... but the cross over as we have discussed is just education. The minute we start education as a revolution, my hopes are we'll have more participation in Our India. Until then just hoping for a Leadership.

J P Joshi said...

Agree with you on the two Indias. I too donot agree with what Mutalik and his goons do, but then I do not like anything that Raj and his goons do and also anything that any goon does.

I have a bigger grouse against our government for not enforcing the law of our land and an even bigger grouse against the law and order functionaries (our SHOs, SPs and IGs of police) of our government who already have the requisite authority to implement the law, but do not do so selectively against political goons. These are the real culprits.

Demented people exist in any and every society but then the law and order mechanism functions to keep them within the boundaries of the law. How can we make this happen???

Usha Pisharody said...

*Sigh* There is Indian and Indian? There is only one India, and that I know for certain is not his, with his narrow earthworm like vision. It is only that which has an upward looking and forward looking vision, where daughters and sons will be weighed equally!

Ajit said...

India exists in many parallel time frames....
some people live in this century and many still live 200 years back.....

we need to bring everyone on the same page... :)

You have mentioned "lungi".... :P

mutts wears pants as well...... :)
and lungis are worn by decent men as well... :)

Solilo said...

Intellect and Muthalik do not belong in the same sentence.

IHM, did you remove that video on previous post? It was hilarious!

Reema said...

I didnt know all that about Hubli!

Anrosh said...

and for bloggers who support this campaign type in pink

Shilpa said...

You know IHM yesterday I was so angry whenI read how M said those women are only degrading themselves. But now i am not so angry anymore.....we have taken up our chosen mode of fighting this horror and I really hope this effort is not just brushed aside as something frivolous. I dont know if I made sense here/

Sandhya said...

This post reflects two faces of India and I would say there are many more. we are one complex nation.
I also do happen to agree with Bones that this guy is getting what he hoped for i.e. lots of media coverage for no cost.

Piper .. said...

congratulations on such a fabulous post! I`m forwarding this to all my friends.
And yeah, can you imagine??!! I read about the 'intellectual debate' too!! Some people do think they are God`s gift to womankind! And How!!

Solilo said...,2933,490690,00.html

Muthalik chaddified forever.

Solilo said...

IHM, Nice to see that you used Pink font for the top side bar. I read 'thong' instead of 'THRONG' which is also apt :)):))

@Everyone: Add something Pink to your blog.

Chirag said...

Yeh, to pura pink pink ho gaya :)Muthalik ab Lal pila ho ga :) LOL

1conoclast said...


I voted WOW on this one!

Totally with you.

I don't understand why men can walk around scratching their balls in public & women can't dry their underwear in public!

Shame the bugger muthalik!

Meet him in the streets!

As dekhen zaraa, kismein kitna hai dum!!!

Let's go to Jaipur!

Remember the South African horseback lathi charge scene from Gandhi? THAT's the way to do it!!!

Who's game??? Who's WOMAN or MAN enough???

freespirit said...


I agree with the issue of two Indias. However please do not blame Hubli for this man's twisted mentality. There are people who behave and think like him all over India, and the world. I don't think it has much to do with his place of birth, rather it's all about his upbringing and individual perspective-which is, sadly, distorted. In the same way illiterate does not mean regressive because there are various educated people who concur with this man. Again there are many illiterate, or semi-literate, individuals who would tell him where to go!

Mystic Margarita said...

Great post! I am a pubgoing, loose and forward woman and proud of it! I have slightly different views on the pink chaddi though. here's my take - would love your take on it -

Usha Pisharody said...

I like the pink pink ink here :D!

Angel's Flight said...


Priyanka said...

Hey IHM,
Hubli is a pretty big city. Its like any other 2nd grade city in India. So there are learned and well to do, forward thinkers in Hubli too.
The 1-India and 2-India that you have described exist in every city of India. You are right, he is from the other India.

Chikki said...

You have no idea, How badly I am wishing that I was in India now..:-(.

But, you know what, May be all NRIs should also send him pink chaddis.A valentine Gift to the chief from Indians around the globe.

Bins said...

Wow, Wow, Wow!! I applaud your spirit and your support for this cause. People like Mutha'lick' are really going to sit up and wonder why he was born. He should be publicly embarrased and everytime somebody googles Muthalik, this article should come to the forefront.
If he really wanted to make a difference to our country, there are a countless number of things, he chose to do what he did and he surely will have to pay a price too.

Indian Home Maker said...

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Tarun Goel said...

Too harsh and brutal :)

Indian Home Maker said...

@Tarun -Not brutal, just extremely sad, horribly sad. We can at least acknowledge that this is happening.
And this is true, of a village (and perhaps of all villages) near Hubli, not main Hubli town.

Vikram said...

IHM, there is yet another India. One where the nationally televised beating of a young girl does not lead to any activism from the India that is doing so much for the right to enter pubs.

We only care about our Indias, thats the problem. But at the end of the day there is only one India.

Good work with this initiative.

ThoughtSafari said...

Totally rocking post IHM! I totally agree about the split between forward looking and backward looking people. But I feel its not as simple as black and white here. We are a confused nation when it comes to morality, and gender issues and I guess we all need to do that bit of sorting out inside our own minds as well. The Muthaliks of the world can only fester where there is confusion. But anyways, that guy is beyond discussion, he is so pathetic

The Rat... said...

HI... home maker.... remember wat Khaled said in Thousand Splendid Suns?? "Just as a compass always points to North, a man's accusing finger always points at a women"... wat the man is forgetting is other 4 fingers are pointing himself... Seriously speaking, more than this pink chaddi event i am going thru some sick session here in my company that makes me lose faith in guys as d days pass...

This 5th grade drop out, who has 53 criminal cases pending against him and is not yet married thinks Ladies are taking up western culture huh?? if that so, that guys are free to adapt anything and only we aren't entitled to these things..
its my right to do wat i want to and wat not... who is this fellow to give me some morale lessons..

giving out saris huh?? does he realize that we Indians wear saris without blouse or petticoat as per tradition.. it was only during the British-India era that our beloved,sexy attire went thru an makeover with a high necked full arm blouse and a petticoat...

hey one doubt.. is he giving only sarees or matching blouse pcs too?? then i can collect some and distribute along my nearby needy ladies...

Indian Home Maker said...

VIKRAM You say, "IHM, there is yet another India. One where the nationally televised beating of a young girl does not lead to any activism from the India that is doing so much for the right to enter pubs.

We only care about our Indias, that's the problem. But at the end of the day there is only one India."

Vikram, I do not agree. The Pink Chaddi campaign and all our other Protests are NOT about a woman's right to enter the Pub, or about women drinking, or about women wearing noodle straps ... These are urgently needed, united protests by people who could see how dangerous a precedent this was, these protests are against Talibanisation of India.

The protests are against politicians/fundamentalists who have been Talibanising India in the past, and now they think they can 'put women back in their place' ... Also against those who have double standards of this kind.

There are many Indias, and for us all to be happy and ONE we need to understand why political goondas from one India thought they could (and still might) succeed in trying to tell any Indian citizen how to live their lives. Where to go, what to wear, what to drink, and who NOT to interact with.

Pretending there is only one [kind of] India is a mistake. Acknowledge or you will never know why what enrages One India is just 'loose-morals and pub-culture' for the Other India.

All the Indias are constantly fighting hundreds of battles and we must do our bit where we can in whichever ways we can without undermining other causes - pointing fingers is not the right way, taking action is.

You can tag us, talk to us about it, blog about anything you feel strongly about, involve us too, the way we all do involve the whole blogosphere, and if we do not join your cause, you can still blog about it Vikram, if you feel strongly about something.

The horror of any girl being molested and the molester trying to make himself a saint for assaulting her was the most numbing thing I could ever even imagine, and I am grateful to the modern elite, westernised Indian men who had the empathy to understand why it shook the other gender in their country so much, I am grateful to their common sense to see this was a dangerous precedence, and this time things had gone just too, too far.

I would not have cared if I had to shout alone from roof tops or if nobody else talked about it, I would have fought for what made me mad. I think you must do the same, we might join you too ...

Balvinder Singh said...

My sons bought me two shirts one of which was pink and black trousers on my birthday last year. I have not worn the pink shirt till today. I think this must be the occassion that it was kept reserved for. So this Saturday i will be in my pink shirt and black trousers in the club in support of this cause.

I think the campaign is really giong to paint the country pink.

Anonymous said...

jus a thought came across my mind..these ppl who take up moral policing (if they really feel they need to clean up the sociey)..why cant they do something against these men who spend their days earring to get drunk and beat up thier wives and childern...why isnt anyone trying to stop this.. there are lot of things which has to be stopped..why?????

John said...

@IHM, amazing post.

I've thought of something that nobody in the blogosphere seems to have mentioned - to my knowledge, of course.

The Sri Ram Sena informed the media well in advance that they were going to attack the pub at such-and-such a time, and the media came with all their cameras in tow. That means the media knew a crime was going to be committed. Yet they didn't inform the police, and neither did they inform the pub management so that the pub could have closed as a precautionary measure. Instead, they just filmed with their cameras as the goondas beat up several people and molested some women and traumatised them. The media is scum... but more importantly, doesn't this make them accessories to a crime? Can't we file cases against them and prosecute them too?

Also, what Indyeah said. Unfortunately, Mutalik is no fool. He knows that the "other India" outnumbers "our India". He knows that the publicity will deliver him votes from the "other India", and we are just giving him exactly what he wants.