Thursday, February 19, 2009

Man To Man!

Pious and cultured upholders of Hindutva have been making obscene/crank calls to teach moral values to girls who put their phone numbers on the parcels of pink chaddis they couriered them.

These girls were not professional protesters. They were ordinary citizens, who believed in our Constitution and were protesting to uphold it. I hope they don't let these hoodlums frighten them into never taking any such action again!

Women receiving obscene or crank calls is not unheard of in India. And you don't need to send pink chaddis to receive such calls. Most women I know have received some such calls, sometime in their life.

I have received crank calls as a mother of two, and that when there was not even the faintest notion of sending any pink chaddis to anyone ... in 1996.

Obscene calls are just an extension of street sexual assaults, and no victim should blame herself for some pervert's sickness.

I found a way to handle this caller who called whenever I was alone, I can laugh at it today, but it was seriously frightening then.

I made a man's voice and told him that the police had been informed and I was going to thrash the life out of him, and that I had an idea who he was etc etc...

He obviously believed it was a man speaking and since he actually never called again, I guess it worked

Even if the caller does not immediately stop calling, and even if we do not wish to inform the police, there is no harm in using a man's voice. Keeping a handkerchief on the mouth works well, though I have not tried it.

I would avoid abusing but if one feels that works, why not?

If required we can warn, in a man's voice, that we plan to have him bobitted, we can tell him we have better political connections than he can ever dream of ... whatever works. But we better sound like we mean it. This is not a joke.

[Although it is funny when I look back ... if the caller actually knows the victim he'd probably just die of curiosity wondering who the man on the phone was ;)]

And don't start blaming yourself for sending pink chaddis. I think it's time we learn to blame the culprit and not the victim.

Those who do blame you should know that if tomorrow they were to receive any such calls they will not even have the satisfaction of having participated in a bold and peaceful protest :)

Edited to add these delightful words :
I’m still thinking about the word ‘undignified’. What can be more dignified than defiance? What can be more courageous than meeting a congregation of bullies with ribald laughter? The raised middle finger is seldom the politest part of your body. Yet it out-braves every known dignity when it returns the conversation-opener offered by a raised lathi.


hitch writer said...

Those who do blame you should know that if tomorrow they were to receive any such calls they will not even have the satisfaction of having participated in a bold and peaceful protest :)

Really well put IHM !!

Chirag said...

Hope fully first :)

And Yes, these days if you get any unwanted call just inform police, with the number. And seriously, as IHM, said. Protest was necessary and important, it moved us forwardIf they can too crank we can crank back, let us know the dialer..We all are with you.

Those buggers can't even take a defeat like man!

Solilo said...

"Those who do blame you should know that if tomorrow they were to receive any such calls they will not even have the satisfaction of having participated in a bold and peaceful protest :)"

I echo the thoughts.

I have received such calls and mails too and it has nothing to do with PCC. Some men can't stand strong women. They try to pull such women down. What is worse is when fellow women too try to do the same.

Nothing should worry about it. Prank callers are just men without b***s.

Indian Home Maker said...

@Hitchwriter Always knew you'd agree :)

@Chirag Yeah it is serious, and I heard on the TV, that they have been advised to call the police.

@Solilo I read somewhere on the blogosphere that the girls are being blamed for putting their numbers! They need our support.

Anonymous said...

How can we not blame the victim for this? After all she stood up for her rights.. She can have acid thrown at her, she can be raped, she can be eve teased.. But how dare she say anything against it? She is a woman... She has no right to speak up. Even when she has to protect herself, she needs to make a man's voice!

Rakesh Vanamali said...

Phew! Must have been tough handling such calls....but I'm happy you fought it off!

Iya said...

Really, those morons are now resorting to crank calls.
I have faced way too many of these in my home town. my way out was to immediately bang the phone, don’t let the morons speak, just 1 word and bang..

Pixie said...

Yes.. we can't blame the victim... and yes, even I read that somewhere and I tried to remember the link, but it escapes me as of now...
We need to stand up and support ourselves..
And first of all, we women should stop putting down other women...

Anonymous said...

UH-oh..thats bad. The girls can get their numbers changed....dont know about the addresses though!

MultiMenon said...

Hey there..first timer ere..benn readin thro ur posts thus far,awesome!! :)

am blogrollin ya..

cheers.. :)


Indyeah said...

IHM bravo!!for standing up so strongly and so clearly without any hint of a doubt..

''Those who do blame you should know that if tomorrow they were to receive any such calls they will not even have the satisfaction of having participated in a bold and peaceful protest :) ''

let me echo what others have said and say...well put IHM!!

the kind of mindset that seeks to blame the pink chaddi campaign girls (or boys who knows they might have been threatened too)for giving their numbers and participating in such a (let me quote here)'dumb' campaign also exactly the mindset that says that a rape victim had asked for it..a girl who had acid thrown on her face had asked for it...shocking?
but how can one blame girls in one case one and the perpetarators fin another?

if anyone seeks to blame PCC girls for getting into it 'knowingly'and puts the blame on them,I have zero respect for his/her mental abilities..

Indyeah said...

and thanks for those tips...:) a lot of these and more were used by ma when dad had a field posting and she stayed in delhi alone with three kids..:)

Winnie the poohi said...

I get crank calls for no reason at all.. I have even threatened them with police.. they dont seem to care.. they simply change sims and call from a diff.. no.. Nowadays I dont take calls from unknown number.. They better sms me before they call.. I find it waste of energy to deal with such callers.. they r better ignored.. coz thats the last thing they want

Indian Home Maker said...

@RV Glad to see some outrage here!
I saw the news of acid attacks, I feel where ever there is narrow-mindedness and unnecessary restrictions only on girls, meaning they are not respected not treated as equals, such attacks increase ...

@Rakesh Vanamali - One learns like this ...

@Iya These girls were terrified, and might swear off any protests in future! They should know that what they did was brave and right. And we must let them know we are all with them.

@Pixie 'And first of all, we women should stop putting down other women...' In fact we must support each other!

@homecooked They can also complain to the police. I read somewhere, will add the link if I find, that they must complain without fear ...

@Nikhil WELCOME :) Thanks :)) Truly Honored!

@Indyeah the mindset that says that a rape victim had asked for it..a girl who had acid thrown on her face had asked for it... is the same, sad mindset that can make a girl feel she was wrong to have protested in a way not acceptable to the high moral standards of SRS.
LOL @tips, it actually worked for me!

@Winnie the poohi Just think of the amount of free tome these men have!

Balvinder Singh said...

I like your idea of trying to frustrate the caller by speaking in a manly voice. Putting man's voice to some use at least (:-})

Kislay said...

I have answered a few calls like these . They were not meant for me , of course . I just hurled a very long string of the choicest swear words at them , first in Hindi , and then in English , and that usually did the trick .

Shilpa said...

Yes yes yes yes! I thought of the same thing when I heard this. When you get crank calls even when you do not participate in a protest, might as well go out and protest.
You know IHM, I went to a party this weekend and there was this very educated, learned Indian lady(she must be 65-70), she is a phd herself and runs a music school etc. We were all talking about PCC and Ram Sene and you know what she says? 'what business did these girls have being at a pub?' I was shocked. I wanted to really give her a piece of my mind but I realized she might not be a type who would even try to understand another point of view. If educated women can say that, I can only imagine what the men in India's villages etc are saying.

Anonymous said...

If you were expecting a bouquet of red roses, for a successful job (the PCC), then you've probably not understood something about men (I mean, the Muthaliks...or should we say 'Bhoothaliks').

-How did you forget that men are demi-Gods?
-That women, irrespective of their MBAs and seven-figure-salaries are still the weaker sex?
-That no matter what, men cannot take criticism. They won't oppose you immediately, for they are cowards. But they will harass you repeatedly, and make you feel disgraced for having done something right!

-Why must a woman make a man's voice?
-Why can a woman not google the choicest of abuses and keep it handy to greet crank callers with?
-Why can't we get caller ID and report the incident to the police?

-Or, let's have another round of PCC, only this time, it has to be Black chaddis, to show we are in mourning.

Mourning the demise of Decency in man!

vimmuuu said...

How I wish I got a crank call from some unknown girl ! Sigh !!!!

Btw, something for your previous post, this is what little boys can do !! :D check it out :

Sandhya said...

I used to get such calls when I was unmarried and to my surprise, everybody at home looked at me suspiciously as if I was inviting those calls! It's always the girl who is wrong. I am sure if my brother got calls from an unknown girl, it would have passed as just a silly joke.

Mavin said...

A lot to change.

But every one must remember - Bullies are the easiest to lick. A tough response and they scamper for cover.

Cantaloupes.Amma (CA) said...

* Those ladies who sent the pink chaddies were brave and fought for their basic rights ... pathetic losers cannot handle defeat ... especially to women.
* Oh those crank calls ... they scared the hell out of me ... I was in my teens then. I dreaded receiving the phone... I'd wait to hear the voice on the other side before even saying "Hello". My parents were very supportive though. I wish I had lodged a complaint with the police ... somehow I was too scared to take it up with the police.
* Isn't it very sad that we women have to use a man's voice to protect ourselves from crank callers ...

Anonymous said...

another piece of exemplary journalism. writing headlines without confirming whether the callers were ram sene goons or not .

are the pc campaigners really that stupid to write phone mubers and address on each parcel as well as on the blog?
of course that does not mean they should be subject to obscene calls but it is absolute stupidity to make your contact details public in this age.

also why isnt sending someone unsolicited underwear obscene?


Charakan said...

Crank calls will come with or without PCC.Only difference is this time it will be more organized and vicious. The counter attack against crank calls should be organised and lethal too. In every City these Girls should come together and decide on the method of counter attack. Abuse/male voice/police complaint all can be used but in a well thought out and planned manner. Changing the number is not bravery.
Also get ready for other types of harassment, victimizations, isolation, etc. Unity is strength and counter attacking can even be fun with everybody joining together.

Ajit said...

yeah, why is that guys dont get crank calls from girls... :P or have a stalker....
LOL... I am impressed at your courage IHM....

usually when my friends face that problem, they give the phone to me and the guy never calls again... :P

aneri_masi said...

Sheesh....this is getting more ridiculous than Ekta's serials! How besharam are these guys, IHM? Besharam and spineless cowards!!!

I am almost inclined to asking the girls to play along and ask the idiots to come meet them somewhere! And then let the fun begin if the cowards do show up!

Brenna said...

Been here for a while, first time commenting!

If they are real men, they wouldnt be making anonymous calls like cowards. This is what pink chaddis changed them into. :)
Really proud of all the girls/ladies who were bold enough to put their details.

IHM love what you write!

Jira said...

I so agree with you that crank calls are just extension of physical sexual assaults.

These gundas never stop. Do they? Seriously, this is annoying. The police should be informed of these callers. Such spineless cowards should be taught a lesson.

Angel's Flight said...

I say go ahead and curse...those spineless vermin deserve it!

shail said...

I go with writerzblock's comment. I mean WHY should we use man's voice?? I refuse to be made to feel ashamed by obscenity spouting people, either via crank calls or on the road. There was a time when I used to feel somehow responsible, due to conditioning. But I reasoned it out for myself long back and fought myself out of it. The callers/harassers are the dirty ones, not I. Period. I think this feeling of shame that is inculcated in girls from the time they are born should be worked on. Why ever do we go into a tizzy when private parts are mentioned by their names for example?? Why blame the woman and not the Peeping Tom who watched her surreptitiously while she bathed?? Why blame the girl who was approached with a love letter by the local Romeo?? You know I still remember my mother advising me solemnly using the example that this was the reason why girls shouldn't deck themselves up too much. I was only 13 and even at that age, I found the logic utter nonsense, that I was responsible for the actions of others!! Bosh!!! People better start taking responsibility for their own actions and not blame, women/girls for their twisted minds and actions. And the society needs a big rap on its knuckle for making women shoulder the blame for anything and everything. Well, I better stop, I told you I am from Neptune! :P
I hope the girls get support to deal with the issue. They joined a movement they believed in. Cowardly goons now ring them trying to scare them. What else can you expect from them!!

Quirky Indian said...

IHM, as Charakan said, crank calls will happen, protest or no protest. People need to learn how to handle it, and you've given some good advice. In these days of Caller IDs, a police complaint can be very effective.


Quirky Indian

vishesh said...

evidently these people have no self for using man's voice,try microsoft sam ;)

Varunavi said...

I salute to u IHM,u always touch the topic which some point of the time i/everyone has experienced in my/our life.
Even i had a very bad experience of getting calls,as the person who was calling used to say that there is no men in my house.Later we sorted it out by giving complaint at the telephone exchange.I dont understand what makes them happy by doing such things.

Gopinath's "Artickles" said...

Hi IHM, firstly I am surprised that women put their cell nos on the courier packet, when they know the kind of people who are going to receive it. Anyway, one is not supposed to be using that contact info the way it was, so you have rightly raised your voice against this incident. The actions of right wing groups like Rama Sene is attrocious, condemnable and needs to be handled firmly. Incidentally, 'Rama Sene' is an anagram of 'Erase Man'!

Usha Pisharody said...

Those who do blame you should know that if tomorrow they were to receive any such calls they will not even have the satisfaction of having participated in a bold and peaceful protest!

Caught it all there, IHM.. and that was so simply and beautifully articulated!

Piper .. said...

IHM, I am seriously wondering why the women put their phone numbers on the parcels. Ofcourse that is not to say that the hooligans are justified or anything. But if we can prevent this in the first place, why not do it? It seems a lil foolhardy if not outright foolish to put your phone number on the parcels.

Indian Home Maker said...

@Piper The courier companies insist on your writing a phone number.

The girls could not have imagined their numbers will be singled out.

So far as the girls were concerned this was just another courier. They are ordinary citizens not politicians or professional protesters.

What they could have done as write some random numbers ... but I don't think they suspected such a reaction. Obviously if they expected such calls they would have not written their numbers. Piper I won't blame them or call them foolhardy!

Charakan said...

why isnt sending someone unsolicited underwear obscene?
This was the question raised by an anonymous person here.

PCC was a protest against the assault on Women's liberty. The panty was not send to the attacker's house,but to the office of the Sena who claimed they carried out the assault on Women in Mangalore.So the Panty was neither unsolicited nor obscene.

Indian Home Maker said...

@Charakan Thanks!

@Usha Pisharody I just feel protest and let there be thousands of voices, from all kinds of people, so long as they all speak against injustice ...

@Mr Gopinath They sent it like any other courier I guess ... I am really glad you condemn the acts of 'Erase Man' ...they seem intent on erasing human values!

@Vishesh They have inferiority complex and this makes them feel equal to these women in some ways ... they know intellectually or in any other way they can never be equals.

@Varunavi Such callers have mental problem ... what they need is a shrink.

@Quirky Indian Most women are afraid of complaining to the police ... shouldn't be but are because there is every chance that they will be told they should have not done this, or that ...and even be blamed for inviting such troubles on themselves.

@Shail When we were in college there was this girl who unplugged her phone because if she her family came to know she was receiving such calls she would have been taken out of her college.
Ours is a weird society!

@Brenna Absolutely! Their definition of manliness includes 'making anonymous calls like cowards'!

@Jira They are invertebrates, no doubt!

@Angel's Flight Sometimes if they are mentally sick in the mind they might want to hear you curse, maybe we should tell them they need a psychiatrist.

Indian Home Maker said...

@Ajit I was terrified because this caller seemed to know I was alone (for two months), but pretending there was a guy at home worked.

@Aneri Masi I know of one case where they advised the girl to call him to mmeet her and caught him, he claimed they were having an affair and the girl wanted to break up.
He was a much older married man. The calls were being tracked for a while and they had enough proof, and he was convicted, but imagine if everybody had believed him? How frustrating would that have been?

Indian Home Maker said...

@Balvinder Singh But most people will disagree .. it's like (and I do understand that also ..) why should a woman need to use a man's voice :(

@Kislay Yes they are cowards if we sound strong, they will run away.

@Shilpa I feared we will hear this , 'what business did these girls have being at a pub?' ... many people think being good people means you must lead a fixed kind of life. Anything different and a woman doesn'teven deserve to be safe :(
This is the kind of women who wake up the last and by then it will be too late.

They need to read a little more about other cultures and get out of their mental wells ...

Indian Home Maker said...

@Writerzblock You are right in everything you say and all the questions you ask. I am glad, so glad you are asking these questions.

Indian Home Maker said...

@Vimmuuu Not some unknown pretty girl Vimmuuu, someone you can neither appreciate, nor respect and is everything you scorn ... and wel, you get the idea, try picturing someone you despise ...

@Sandhya That's what I mean, I know this happens, imagine where does a victim go? Who do you complain to?? If families think it could be our fault, what will strangers and other people think!!! It's wrong, and we should all make sure we NEVER do this!

Indian Home Maker said...

@Mavin YES!!! :)
"But every one must remember - Bullies are the easiest to lick. A tough response and they scamper for cover."

@CA "pathetic losers cannot handle defeat ... especially to women... "
And CA yes they are very scary but we must support each other they are cowardly, spineless bullies harassing us!

freespirit said...

Yay!!! The custodians of our culture have shown us what our culture is all about! The list includes, but is not confined to, beating up and molesting women, assaulting them, harassing them, and abusing them through means of these vulgar and filthy phone calls when the girls tried to protest in a manner that would shame these men. Apparently they do not have shame. Our culture says nothing about the menfolk being ashamed, does it? The burden of the blame is the woman's alone! *APPLAUSE* THIS is our culture...or is it?