tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post2350464981372733702..comments2023-09-23T21:10:38.319+05:30Comments on The Life and Times of an Indian Home Maker: To an Anonymous DILIndian Home Makerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10649133480442907582noreply@blogger.comBlogger58125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-14771973333423023362009-04-12T00:18:00.000+05:302009-04-12T00:18:00.000+05:30http://acuppaconversation.blogspot.com/2009/01/thi...http://acuppaconversation.blogspot.com/2009/01/thin-transparent-line.html<BR/><BR/>This is something I too wrote about. I agree with every word u've written. But our fate does indeed lie in our own hands.coffeeismypoisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05421534537554930676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-30298626657606363192009-02-26T21:39:00.000+05:302009-02-26T21:39:00.000+05:30Sujata Thank You! Mein yadi samay par uttar na bhi...<B>Sujata</B> Thank You! Mein yadi samay par uttar na bhi doon to bhi apka comment padh kar mujhe bahut protsahan milta hai :)<BR/>Dhanyawaad!Indian Home Makerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10649133480442907582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-54166653296258451252009-02-26T21:37:00.000+05:302009-02-26T21:37:00.000+05:30@Maya IS it possible to have a happy joint family?...@Maya IS it possible to have a happy joint family? <BR/>Maybe if the boys family is actually willing to let the girl be, 'let her' go spend weekends with their son at her parents place, or if he girls parents can walk in and out of her sasural, if this house cna really, in every sense be her home... if they will accept that he can make tea for her while she just sits and read a book, without worrying about his being dominated by her, if she can quarrel with him without them taking sides, if she can wear whatever she likes, if she can sit while they stand, if she can sleep till she likes and wake up at her own time, if she can call her friends home and go meet her friends whenever she likes, including, if she so chooses, late evenings ... basically if they stop thinking that she is must stop living to prove to them she respects them, and secondly if they stop thinking that they must control her life, so that she does not dare to take their son away or stop showing respect to them...<BR/>Lots more, and it is not impossible.Indian Home Makerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10649133480442907582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-10861328440850513792009-01-12T11:39:00.000+05:302009-01-12T11:39:00.000+05:30This is something that has been from the prespecti...This is something that has been from the prespective of a saas bahu serial. i am sure that such may be the case in join families but there are joint families which might be happier. <BR/><BR/>if you say there is prob with joint family, what is your suggestion how the joint families can be made to work in a better way. after all joint familiy is similar to a societyMayahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03259452145796716118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-44544315857116081822008-12-21T11:08:00.000+05:302008-12-21T11:08:00.000+05:30Poonam J Make your peace but don't stop trying to ...Poonam J Make your peace but don't stop trying to let your mother in law and husband see how unfair the system is. <BR/><BR/>All Indian Sons are raised with loving taunts like, "He will take his wife's side when he's married!" Like that's the biggest crime he could commit! <BR/><BR/>A girl must never put her own parents before her husband's parents, <B>but her husband, in return </B> must not ever stop this family from being disrespectful, inconsiderate, downright rude, cruel etc to her. Or he will be called <I>joru ka ghulam </I>! All this in the name of Indian values and culture. <BR/><BR/>Let's make sure our children are not raised like this.<BR/><BR/>The root of this whole cruel, stifling system is we have different rules for sons and daughters, and <B>no system based on injustice can lead to any good</B>, we can see it is now making us kill our unborn baby girls.Indian Home Makerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10649133480442907582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-22269027969881083752008-12-21T09:36:00.000+05:302008-12-21T09:36:00.000+05:30Loved reading your post....i have learnt from my M...Loved reading your post....i have learnt from my MIL what not to do to my DIL.I just hope when the time so comes i put it to practice.A modern woman, i still have not found my voice with my MIL, more so becaz that doesnot fit into my husbands ideology....Yet lifecontinues, and i have made my peace within me.Poonam Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13358146622873317358noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-15584793682932430782008-11-28T22:05:00.000+05:302008-11-28T22:05:00.000+05:30यहाँ आई टिप्पणियों को पढना और भी रोचक है । एक अच्छ...यहाँ आई टिप्पणियों को पढना और भी रोचक है । एक अच्छी बहस !सुजाताhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12373406106529122059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-92076015969954278842008-11-28T21:59:00.000+05:302008-11-28T21:59:00.000+05:30आपकी पोस्ट संयत है और एक ज़रूरी पोस्ट है। मै सहमत ह...आपकी पोस्ट संयत है और एक ज़रूरी पोस्ट है। मै सहमत हूँ आपके विचारों से ।सुजाताhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12373406106529122059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-89067818921288272772008-11-01T20:50:00.000+05:302008-11-01T20:50:00.000+05:30@Anrosh So many young women would rather die (with...@Anrosh So many young women would rather die (with parents looking on approvingly) than do what you did. Yes you are a good, much needed example. So many young women ruin the best years of their lives, giving in to the social and family's pressure to live this way, seek permission, serve, obey, deny themselves. They need to read about girls, who, if required, do take a stand. <BR/>Proud of you :)Indian Home Makerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10649133480442907582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-82791286977217995262008-11-01T20:34:00.000+05:302008-11-01T20:34:00.000+05:30@Usha Pisharody It felt good to read your comment....@Usha Pisharody It felt good to read your comment. We can make so much difference, in literally changing this society's attitude towards women. May OUR tribe increase :)Indian Home Makerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10649133480442907582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-30492867318675801592008-11-01T20:25:00.000+05:302008-11-01T20:25:00.000+05:30my parents-in-law have denied that they have a dau...my parents-in-law have denied that they have a daughter-in-law even when they have one. And all because i do not follow - "none of the so called ..we have been doing it this way or that way.even when our friends ask me - "is this how it is done in your house, my husband and i say, " we are doing it our way". that's what we tell the in-laws too. ridiculously the parents also want their daughters to behave sacrificied and living under the permission protocol. i just said one word "butt out" literally and everything is taken care of. The parents and the parent's in-law were open mouthed that i had the audacity to tell them (in the first 3 months of marriage) but no other way worked with them and being assertive was the best thing could i get it "our" way.everybody knows to draw their own lines now. only i wish there were many daughter-in-laws and daughters like me. so that there would be many examples.Anroshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16723150055204555588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-49909908422292632132008-10-21T22:45:00.000+05:302008-10-21T22:45:00.000+05:30This is a really discerning post! Most often, as y...This is a really discerning post! Most often, as you mention, there is this finger of accusation pointing towards the young bride/homemaker; and this is a growing tendency. <BR/><BR/>Hopefully there will come a time when the twain shall meet; and the young ones will take courage in their hands to make difference to their lives, assertively and equally pleasantly, for all!<BR/><BR/>As a would-be MIL someday, I know that I should want to let my DIL be who she would like to be!<BR/><BR/>May more of this tribe increase!Usha Pisharodyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08569968324374522544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-73953198210135545382008-10-14T23:21:00.000+05:302008-10-14T23:21:00.000+05:30@Mandira - Yeah space and some time for yourself i...@Mandira - Yeah space and some time for yourself is essential for women too. I did I miss your comment?! I should have responded earlier:(<BR/><BR/>@Sharada Guru - Absolutely, we have no time to redo it.<BR/><BR/>@Sakhi Thanks :)Indian Home Makerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10649133480442907582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-754381758493888322008-10-14T23:17:00.000+05:302008-10-14T23:17:00.000+05:30@Shail It's always great to meet women who can que...@Shail It's always great to meet women who can question set norms :)Nice meeting you Shail!Indian Home Makerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10649133480442907582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-30569651617651596942008-10-14T22:56:00.000+05:302008-10-14T22:56:00.000+05:30An adult having to take permission! Just the thoug...An adult having to take permission! Just the thought makes me suffocate. I was advised to take the permission of my MIL to wear a sleeveless sari blouse back in the 80s. I preferred switching it to one with sleeves rather than stoop to the indignity of asking permission. <BR/>At the risk of sounding repetitive let me say it nevertheless, 'Kudos!' for the post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-86196965171061878072008-10-06T09:40:00.000+05:302008-10-06T09:40:00.000+05:30I am quite late here but good that i came!! An awe...I am quite late here but good that i came!! An awesome read and enjoyed comemnts too!!<BR/><BR/>there's nothing much left to say...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-39846528002306900102008-10-02T11:19:00.000+05:302008-10-02T11:19:00.000+05:30Hmm,This is amazing and ridiculous, both at once. ...Hmm,<BR/>This is amazing and ridiculous, both at once. I am a big FEMINIST. And I feel so much for all the DIL's that go through what they go through. I was born and brought up in India. But currently live in the US. <BR/><BR/>I have just one advice to anyone and everyone (especially DIL's)<BR/>U have Frigging ONE LIFE ONLY. LIVE IT...please. You do not have the chance for a redo. <BR/><BR/>I am not a blogger. I don't read blogs. This is just my 2 cents.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-62157640411450260112008-09-06T22:17:00.000+05:302008-09-06T22:17:00.000+05:30as always ,IH, u do a wonderful job of writing..ca...as always ,IH, u do a wonderful job of writing..<BR/>cant believe they actually advised u to drink 15 kgs of ghee!!<BR/><BR/>i think it totally makes sense for young couples to buy there own house... its not as if living apart means that u wont or cant tk care of your parents( and i mean both sets of parents here).. i think independence and space is essential for all....<BR/>mandiraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-29512021780515859722008-09-06T15:14:00.000+05:302008-09-06T15:14:00.000+05:30@Another DIL, but am ok I am glad you have stopped...@Another DIL, but am ok I am glad you have stopped caring about general opinion, this inner strength is what will makes us the happiest :)I agree with all that you have said, but it's sad to think you need a 'moti chamdi', but there is no doubt that works the best. Nothing can beat standing up for your convictions. Keep it up....even though you won't care (much) I am truly proud of you:) Love to your lucky daughter too. Strong mothers make strong daughters :)<BR/>The last line about maintaining tough reins over a DIL, so she doesn't forget her duty to sacrifice for her in laws...is a sad fact. Loved your comments.Indian Home Makerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10649133480442907582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-72795182093978979012008-09-06T15:06:00.000+05:302008-09-06T15:06:00.000+05:30@Abha Your long comments are welcome :)@Abha Your long comments are welcome :)Indian Home Makerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10649133480442907582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-43114571935945668072008-09-06T15:05:00.000+05:302008-09-06T15:05:00.000+05:30@Mama Mia Welcome to my Blog, I hope you visit man...@Mama Mia Welcome to my Blog, I hope you visit many, many times :)<BR/>I agree with you because I have NEVER met anyone who chooses, freely to live with her in laws. <BR/>And 'sacrifices' are very good, they are great for all but the person who is made to feel she can only please if she suffers!I once met a woman who claimed she never bought anything for herself, she only shopped for her husband and children...obviously she was made to feel that was the right thing to do. Why not shop for everyone, herself included? <BR/>I have known women who say they don't care what sacrifices they make, so long as they get to live with their husband and children-without the in laws. We have made it seem like a crime for a girl to want his most basic life...And it's only men and the son's parents who want the system to survive. It's so convenient for them!Indian Home Makerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10649133480442907582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-87031739775880955782008-09-06T14:53:00.000+05:302008-09-06T14:53:00.000+05:30@homecooked A truly supporting husband should at l...@homecooked A truly supporting husband should at least get the girl 'permission' to work ! Half the problems are solved if you get out for plenty of hours and if you have a source of income.Indian Home Makerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10649133480442907582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-18487545512620801582008-09-06T14:52:00.000+05:302008-09-06T14:52:00.000+05:30Roop :( Ugh yes...but we can change this.And plis ...Roop :( Ugh yes...but we can change this.<BR/>And plis I yum too yonored for words :) Thangyou, Thangyou...Indian Home Makerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10649133480442907582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-15901820068835174602008-09-06T14:48:00.000+05:302008-09-06T14:48:00.000+05:30@@lankrita ...couldn't have expressed it better!@@lankrita ...couldn't have expressed it better!Indian Home Makerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10649133480442907582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123689684509240568.post-71277400913505125432008-09-06T14:44:00.000+05:302008-09-06T14:44:00.000+05:30@ Deepa Now that's called a workable, practical so...@ Deepa Now that's called a workable, practical solution. I hope Anonymous tries this and succeeds :)Indian Home Makerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10649133480442907582noreply@blogger.com