When you offer her respect,

When you offer her respect,

She can read the fine print.

(That’s the trouble with letting these women get education!)

She is delighted to know you respect her.

[Thank you, she respects you too :)]

But she doesn’t subsist on that respect.

She values the respect she has for herself,

She won’t trade her Freedom or Happiness for this Respect.

Try offering Respect for Respect…?

Not Respect for Compliance, Femininity, Conformity, Frailty, Weakness, Meekness, Conventionality, Obedience, Diffidence, Ignorance …

(I realise it's harsh, and even bitter. But thought I'd share this because it reminded me of our Talibanising values.)
Edited to add: Indians Respect Women. Conditions Apply.

Why I Love Western Culture.

My best friend from college was brought up to believe that her destiny in her very traditional family, lay in marrying a man chosen by her parents and then finding happiness in serving him and his family. Her brother played cricket, but she must learn to cook for this bright future.
Then she got a scholarship to go and study in the USA. Her Mom got me to take her photographs (in a sari) to arrange a marriage for her while she was abroad.

She was the most traditional amongst us and grew up with oppressive restrictions. But in America one of the first things she noticed was how it was possible to wear whatever she liked without being stared at (etc.). She sent me photographs she would never have dared to send to her parents. The mandatory black bindi was peeled off her forehead, hair left loose, she wore clothes that made her look gorgeous.

Something as simple and as personal as being able to wear what she liked was an undreamt of luxury in India. We don't even think about it. Men wear western clothes and it is not even noticed, but let a girl wear what she likes and suddenly there is a sena being excused for molesting her!

Do we really believe that women are attacked for the way they dress? I think we do. The truth is crimes against women only happen when the criminal knows he will be excused or the girl will be condemned for even complaining against him. And how we love to do that. But not America.

Later she wrote to forbid me from ever sending those sari pictures to her parents. And then she started living with an American she had no hope of being allowed to marry. Shocking? Scandalous? She didn't have to care. Then she married him and today they have three teenage kids, two dogs and one pet gerbil.

She is an Asian Hindu, he is white and Christian. Neither is afraid of being lynched for their faith.
She has no in-law demands. No dowry. Her mother in law has never attempted to demand that she has children of a certain gender.
She has no fear of her daughter being beaten for going to the pub or for drinking or wearing skimpy clothing. If (god forbid) if such a thing ever happens to any American girl, they will not be blamed for being in the wrong clothes at the wrong time, in the wrong place.
The victim will be provided emotional and legal support. The way any victim should be.

Now she joins my sister in demanding I send my daughter to study there. And for the first time, I am seriously thinking about it.

Somebody tell me how and when has Indian culture been respectful to women and their rights?
And since it hasn't why am I so shocked that they beat those girls in Mangalore with this culture as an excuse? (For political gains by our criminals in politics).

And here are some points in response to a deleted comment (To the last post.)

1. Women are equal citizens, whether you like it or you don't.

2. You do not have the authority to make rules for other equal citizens.

3.You may not like the influence of American/Western Culture on Indian women but they are very much within their rights to adopt any culture they like. Read about why @lankrita, here and Tearsndreams, here prefer these Western values.
They live there, they should know. MAYBE IT WILL BE A SHOCKING EYE OPENER FOR YOU.

4. Whether women do drugs or get drunk and dance in skimpy clothes, it does not become right for other citizens to beat them or molest them. YES I REPEAT, unbelievable as it sounds to you, MOLESTATION DOES NOT EVER BECOME RIGHT. It is always wrong.

5. Do you know the meaning of KOOP MANDUK?

6. Did you have Civics as a subject in school?
Have you read the Preamble?
Ever heard of Fundamental Rights?
We do not have any Legal or Moral Right to tell other citizens how they should live their lives.

7. Do you really care to know what moral policing and Talibanisation can do?
Have you read A Thousand Splendid Sons and The Kite Runner?
And if you think you are safe because such crimes only teach lessons to women maybe these books will make you see how injustice to any one of us affects all of us.
You may not like it but we are all connected.

It is not courageous to sit and watch injustice, silently thanking our stars that we are not the victims. But much worse is excusing the injustice.

Edited to add: Please read Roop's brilliant response to this post, ending with ... 'When my freedoms are taken away from me and my personality is altered, it would no longer be me! It would only be my body walking without ‘me as I was born’!! as many do in India.

Why Not Everybody Uphold Their Own Indian Values & Morals?

EDITED TO ADD: I agree with Charakan. " ... they took great care in organising the media before the act....they informed all the TV channels and might even have waited for the cameramen to get to the vantage spots before starting their molestations.
Why are they not afraid of the Video footage? Such damning evidence is sure to put them in jail right?
It depends on who are the prosecutors.The goons have absolute faith in their mentor the Home Minister Dr.V.S.Acharya, the local BJP leader."

And yet, we have many Indias, and many voices.
What's outrageous to most is unbelievably acceptable to others. Unfortunately we cannot ignore the 'other' India' because they might vote for these molesters believing them to be the saviours of Indian morality.

They don't seem to realise that Women alone cannot uphold the morals of a whole society! Why can't everybody uphold their own morals values?

Here are some voices you will hear (or not hear!) in many parts of India. We cannot afford to ignore them.

Voice 1. This incidence will teach people to stop taking drugs.

The truth: By this logic crimes against women, like rape and molestation should be controlled by ... anyone heard of Jakhmi Aurat and Haseena Atim Bum (a B grade, Pakistani movie about Bobbiting.)? Are we considering those measures?
Law and order must prevail.
We cannot control one problem by using violence and creating another problem.
(Note: Liquor and Pub are not 'problems' there is no law against either as of now).

Voice 2. The News Channels are not showing the other side of the story.

The truth: A molester, a rapist or a child abuser can not be allowed any other side of the story. If he has committed the crime - which is on video here, he is wrong. Don't condemn him today, tomorrow he will break into any your home and claim he was invited/incited/ provoked/justified to molest or attack etc.

Excusing such attacks is dangerous, it will make them bolder. They might attack any innocent female and claim she deserved it.

(I know I am repeating just want to stress the point)

We have to be responsible for our own actions. Getting provoked is no excuse. If any men attack women with any excuse, politically affiliated with Senas or not - they are committing a crime. Period.

Voice 3. Isn't it against Indian values for women to drink?

India is too diverse, different social classes, religions and regions have different rules and values. So, if they are not making a scene, breaking any laws or being violent or sick etc they are not doing anything wrong. I don't think we have any right to force our Indian morality on other Indian citizens.

Some of us are vegetarians. Do we force our 'morality' on the non vegetarians?

Some of us like rituals and prayers, some are against idol worship, some like Western clothing, some prefer Indian clothing. We have no right to force our way of life on others. That includes women, they are equal citizens.

There is no law that says woman are the sole upholders of Indian values and traditions.

Voice 4. The girls were skimpily dressed.

What the girls wore is their business. These Ravana Sainiks have no business to impose their ideas of how girls should dress.

Maybe the girls thought (they are equal citizens, much as we find it difficult to believe, they can think too) the Ravana Sainiks looked like villains from some B-grade movies, but did they get these shifty-eyed-creeps beaten up to shave and wear clean, ironed clothes?

I know in India there are people who think that wearing a certain kind of clothing is wrong, but it does not give these people the right to molest the wearer...

Voice 5. How come men are condemned for drinking but women are defended?

There were men also in the Pub and they were drinking too. The same rules applied to them. If they are not making a scene, breaking any laws or being violent or sick etc they are not doing anything wrong.

And frankly if anybody had any hassles it should be their own families and I assure you they would not wish the Ravana Sainiks to help them, they will take them to a rehabilitation centre.

Voice 6. The girls who were attacked were not 'morally upright'. They were into drugs (etc).

First of all we have no proof and no reason to believe this, except the word of a man with 48 criminal cases against him.

But more importantly, are we aware that even sex workers in this Democracy have equal rights? We can't just go and beat them up! Terrorists, and murderers, alcoholics, rioters, rapists and drug addicts have the right to be 'innocent until proven guilty'. We live in a civilised society, we follow the Indian Constitution. Not laws made by some goons.

We also saw the respect these goons had for women on display on the National Television. They later claimed they would treat their sisters the same way and they had pulled at these girls clothes - I can't imagine what kind of men they are.

Now there is News of their connections with Abhinav Bharat. Are we surprised?

I fear we do not realise that if we do not speak against injustice we might be the next victims.

It is dangerous to excuse any, even one crimes against women as 'they asked for it'? You'll have a hundred Ravan Senas and Kans Senas or Duryodhan Senas attacking Draupadis in every street, using the same excuse.

Let's not allow yet another Frankenstein's Monster to rise.

EDITED TO ADD : Still think they were saving our culture? Do read Amit's - 'Kalyug's Ram Sena' here. And Alankrita's comment below.

MANGALORE WE ARE WITH YOU.

People of Mangalore, the innocent victims in that pub and the courageous young student PAWAN SHETTY - we are with you.

That's all I have to say.

This is like a nightmare. To be assaulted and then know the assaulter is not only known and unpunished but he's making statements on the National Television. Waving his hands in the air.

He has 48 criminal cases pending against him!
And he had the audacity to talk of Patriotism and Indian Culture.!?
So his goons were pulling at those girls' clothes and hair and kicking them to save a culture and to save this country?
Shouldn't he and his men are dangerous men be in jail?
And shouldn't this sort of groups be banned?

What grounds can anybody have for keeping an army like this?
How are they any different from our Bollywood gangs - Mogambo, Daku Maan Singh, Gabbar Singh or other mafia men with their own army of armed men?
In only one way. The old fashioned criminals didn't chant "Bharat Mata ki Jai!" when they molested young girls.

I agree with Mangalore that we should demand that Karnataka government bans Ram Sene - let's all blog about it, sign petitions, write to whoever we can and march like the people of Mangalore to stop India from become Taliban.
These terrorists are worse than those who attacked the Taj, because they are own country men and they intend to fight elections.

Sexual Harassment Has Many Other Names.

MANGALORE: A fanatical right-wing group notorious for creating communal tensions and indulging in moral policing has struck again in Karnataka,

A TV grab shows a girl being assaulted at a Mangalore pub. (Times Now) More Pictures

this time Shri Ram Sena goondas attacked some girls in a pub. ( Watch ) These men accused them of behaving in an “obscene manner” and took objection to women drinking alcohol.

Eyewitnesses said the girls were chased and thrashed by activists of the Sri Ram Sena as they tried to flee from the pub on the busy Balmatta Road in the heart of Mangalore. There were also allegations that some of the girls were molested.

I saw this News yesterday and I just didn't want to finish writing about our Constitution, about Liberty, Equality and Justice ... particularly when I feared that there WILL be some enlightened souls who will defend this act on some grounds like 'the Sri Ram Sena, ... said they had received complaints from the public about the presence of young women.'

Such incidents of moral policing empower perverts and MCPs to assaults women who they normally wouldn't even dare to speak to. Women, who in all probability are smarter than them in every way. Better educated, financially better off, and care two hoots about their twisted ideas of womanhood. (barf bag please!!)

In the past if a man attempted to molest a woman he would have been beaten or condemned by the crowd.
Life for such leches must have been tough then! So they decide that whatever they do, they must colour it with religion and culture. So rape, molest, assault do anything just keep a finger firmly pointed at her morals and lifestyle.

That justification always works. Members of the Sri Ram Sena have justified their actions. Shri Ram Sena is reportedly a part of Sangh Parivar group.

Now you know why I say this moral policing and ' abuse of Hindusim (has) resulted in, (till then) lovable names like Shiv, Bajrang and Hanuman, becoming symbols of vandalism and rioting. And now Ram also.

So now, in India, Sexual Harassment has many other names.

Thank God For Our Founding Fathers!!

The first time we read about our Constitution, about how Dr Ambedkar and his team, took three years to draft this empowering document that made us all equal and free and gave us the right to demand justice ... I was fascinated.

Usha Pisharody shares the fascination. Not for its record breaking volume, but for its Creator and its Content. Of course he did not do it single-handedly, but he did lead the team that did! I truly hate referring to caste, religion and class, but I am darned proud that this document of the highest order, of greatest reverence, worthy of high honour has been written by a man whose caste is that which learned men of yore called Dalit. The Untouchable.'

I have never got over this fascination.

When another blogger said he considers the Constitution his 'Holy Book', I wanted to cheer, 'So do I!'

But Alankrita is right when she says, '.... in a nutshell I think we have an awesome Constitution. But it is not respected as much as the Constitution here (the US) is. It should be paramount but it is not. Our leaders, our people do not respect as they should. My interest in the Indian Constitution revived after seeing the almost reverence they have for it here.'

PhoenixRitu says 'Our Founding Fathers valued Equality, Justice and Liberty and made them the pillars on which our country stands.'

And how thankful I am!

I totally share Indyeah's emotions, when she says (in a comment)

'... the one assuring thing however is ,in fact the silver lining, is that our CONSTITUTION at least has the laws in place.....YES, we do need more laws, more stringent ones and we also need to ensure that laws are applied forcefully...

This is why even a 12 year old in a village in Rajasthan can refuse to get married, can call the police and know what her RIGHTS are....
THis is why young women say to hell with dowry and refuse to get married...

The singular most important point is that when we arm a complete gender with that most powerful weapon of all.... with LEGAL RIGHTS that support her in a DEMOCRATIC country, then 50%of INDIA's population moves forward knowing that she will be supported, that the CONSTITUTION HAS GOT HER BACK!
Wouldn't we then say that thank god for INDIA's founding fathers? THANK GOD!!"

YES THANK GOD FOR OUR FOUNDING FATHERS!!

Never before in History have we been declared EQUAL in the eyes of the law, until this Constitution I am so proud of was drafted.

Our Founding Fathers made sure that For the first time in Indian History we, the aam aadmi, matter.

I wonder how many of us realise how fortunate we are. Would love to know what you think .

Anybody who reads this is TAGGED :)
Go ahead, write a Post, or at least leave a comment!

Some Gems from Manusmriti ;)

Ekta Kapoor is guided by the best ;)

Woman is an embodiment of the worst desires, hatred, deceit, jealousy and bad character. Women should never be given freedom. (Manu IX. 17 and V. 47, 147)

It seems you are not a sinner if you kill a woman (should include baby girls?). I know this is true in our villages, it is accepted that sometimes, such things do happen. Honor killings are a part of this.

Killing of a woman, a Shudra or an atheist is not sinful. (Manu IX. 17 and V. 47, 147)

A woman, (also a Shudra and a Vaishya) are inferior by birth.

All women are born of sinful (or degraded) wombs. (Bhagavad-Gita IX 32)

Once you allow a girl child to be born she is a lifelong liability.

Woman is the source of sorrow. At birth she makes her mother weep. At the time of the puberty she makes her parents weep. At the time of the marriage she makes all her family members and relatives weep.

It gets better...

In youth she commits lot of blunders and brings bad name to the entire family, relatives and Varna. She tortures the hearts of her parents, husband and other family members. She is called 'DARIKA' because she is source of sorrow to all. (Aithareya Brahmana)

The Constitution gave women the Right to Property and what did religion give us?

A wife, a son and a slave, they three are declared to have no property: the wealth which they earn is (acquired) for him to whom they belong. (Manu IX. 416)

... we have no right on the money we earn; it belongs to our husbands. Don't you just respect this bit of traditional justice?

You don't care? You believe you have a mind of your own...you scored better than the boys in class? Don't let that get you wrong ideas!

Your place in the hierarchy is preordained: (We all know this one.)

In childhood a female must be subject to her father, in youth to her husband, when her lord is dead to her sons; a woman must never be independent. (Manu IV. 148)

Manyata follows Manusmriti too!

Every woman must be loyal, faithful. obedient honorable to her husband even if he is blind, deaf, dumb, old, physically handicapped, debaucher or, gambler and neglects his wife and lives with his concubine(s). If the husband is unhappy, it would be the fault of his wife. If he cries, she should cry. If he laughs she should laugh. She can only answer humbly to his question. She should not on her own put any question.

But IHM does 'put' some 'questions'. (It's Not About Hot Hot Chappaties.)

She should eat only after her husband eats.

So those who think Manusmriti has no influence today, please think again.

If he is beating she should not react, but fall on his feet and beg him to pardon her, and kiss his hands and pacify him. If the husband dies she should burn herself to death on his funeral pyre and go along with him to the other world and serve him there in this manner. (Padma Purana)

Excuse me!

She who shows disrespect to her husband who is addicted to (some evil) passion, who is a drunkard or diseased, (she) shall be deserted for three months (and be) deprived of her ornaments and furniture.
-Manusmriti, 4-78

Nearly all my domestic helpers should be deprived of whatever ornaments and furniture they have! Most of them have wished their alcoholic husbands dead!

They won't mind being deserted for three months [or longer] though ... many attempt desertion themselves, but are followed by an irate Lord and Master.

You won't believe this gem I unearthed ;)

Day and night women must be kept in dependence by males (of their families), and, if they attach themselves to sexual enjoyments, they must be kept under one's control. (Manu XI2)

Yup it is us, females of all ages, who pinch bottoms in crowded buses!

Through their passion for men, through their mutable temper, through their natural heartlessness, they become disloyal towards their husbands, however, carefully they may be guarded in this (world). (Manu IX. 15)

Edited to add: 14. Women do not care for beauty, nor is their attention fixed on age; (thinking), '(It is enough that) he is a man,' they give themselves to the handsome and to the ugly.

Women must particularly be guarded against evil inclinations, however trifling (they may appear); for, if they are not guarded, they will bring sorrow on to families." (Manu XI. 5)

So you know why your movements are monitored and controlled...

None of the acts of women can be taken as good and reasonable. (Manu X.4)

He who carefully guards his wife, preserves (the purity of) his offspring (Manu IX.7)

Their only hope after living such depraved lives is in death, does death make them equal to the rest of the Hindus?

A virtuous woman is one who dies on the funeral pyre of her dead husband and avails the privilege of serving her husband in the other world. (Atharva Veda 18-3-1)

After my Dad's funeral, I was concerned about the rites (sanskaras) I would like my kids (both son and daughter) to perform, so I read this carefully.

Women have no right to study the Vedas. That is why their Sanskars are performed without Veda Mantras.

Yeah ....Right.

You might think that it is safest to not get her married?

Reprehensible is the father who gives not (his daughter) in marriage at the proper time. (Manu IX. 4)

A girl must be under the care of her father . . . in youth under the care of the husband and in old age under the care of her sons. But she should never be free and independent. (Manu V. 148)

Him to whom her father may give her, or her brother with the father's permission, she shall obey as long as he lives and when he is dead, must not insult his memory. (Manu V. 151)

The husband who wedded her with sacred mantras is always a source of happiness to his wife, both in season and out of season, in this world and in the next. (Manu V1. 53)

Men will be Men, women must be Sati Savitris.

Though destitute or virtuous, or seeking pleasure elsewhere, or devoid of good qualities, yet a husband must be constantly worshipped as a god by a faithful wife. (Manu V. 154)

What's good for the goose is good for the gander?

If anybody gives away a maiden possessing blemishes without declaring them, (the bridegroom) may annul that (agreement or arrangement)) with the evil-minded giver.
-Manusmriti, 9-73

And if you thought you could argue and prove all this wrong, read this:

Women have no right to study the Vedas. That is why their Sanskars are performed without Veda Mantras. Women have no knowledge of religion because they have no right to know the Vedas. The uttering of Veda Mantras, they are as unclean as untruth is." (Manu IX. 18)

WOW! Do Hindu women accept this?

Well, they don't have to, because Indian Constitution protects them from most of the rulings given by these outrageous archaic texts.

Most crimes and offenses against women find some justification or 'acceptance' by this enlightened sage. How come no one's protesting?! Shouldn't we be screaming our lungs out?

A small group did put up a small protest.

At half past four in the evening on 25th of December, 2003, more than hundred activists representing several Dalit, Bahujan and feminist organisations assembled in front of the memorial of Dr. Babasaheb Ambedkar at Chaityabhoomi, Dadar and set aflame dummy copies of the Manusmriti, Bhagwad Gita and Ramayana, condemning these texts and thus celebrated the 'Bharatiya Stree Mukti Din'

This surprise gathering focused on the fact that there is a need to protest against violent Hindu Revivalist force manifested in Politics.

I think we should watch out for this violent Hindu Revivalist force manifesting in Politics.

[This was written & published in Unchahi a long time back. Just thought it should be posted here also after reading Surbhi's post on Kanyadaan.]

Dutt Rhymes

[Like Chandni I also promise this rant is the last one!]

Many bloggers will say we are giving free publicity the to the newest Mrs Dutt and her husband.

BUT

I feel Manyata's (in)famous talk of taking her husband's permission has to be shown for what it actually is.

1. A clever manipulative ploy to fool an already foolish MCP Pati Parmeshwar (.... or does he really believe she means it! There! That proves my point!!)

2. It exposes how much respect she has for Indian Aam Aadmi's intellect. Does she think aam admi has the same IQ level as her Munna Bhai?

I have reason to believe that average Indians expect couples to be 'partners', not 'guardians' and 'wards'.

Ajit said...(in a comment to the last post)

"Sanjay Dutt is but, a blot on his fathers name;
and now Manyata is going to share his shame!!"

I responded with,
Politics is such a filthy game,
Our hatred is perceived as publicity and fame!

Ajit added some more:
'If you ask me, it is our “birthright” to blame;
But how are we going to bring about the flame!!

All this issue about a stupid surname;
And the words of a idiotic dame;
Shows how much, they are lame;
But for us Indians, this is a situation, we need to tame!!!!!!!!!!!!'

Ajit suggested, " now your turn......... :) LOL
IHM you need to publish this as a post :P"

A rhyme and some humour can convey much more than mere words, please, please do add some more to these.

I assure you it's cathiritic and more effective than banging your head on the wall :P

PS I have no idea how this Blogger logo got here before some sentences, or how to remove it!! Please help.

Reservations For Sons Continues...

We may think what Sanjay Dutt is doing is so obviously ridiculous and wrong but there are many who don't. I called a friend in Lucknow and asked if they think he will win these elections. And I was told although his remarks against his sisters were wrong, they would vote for him because they think one should 'overlook his past immaturity.'

Some other people don't even think Sanjay Dutt is wrong to decide what names/second names/surnames women must keep (Or should be allowed to keep).

I chose to answer a comment to this post here because there might be others who feel the same.

Comment: Good article but to me it appeared as flawed logic ..

Flawed logic? Which point?

Comment: of course its every woman's prerogative on what she wants to do ..

Nice to see the obvious being stated ...

Comment: but as a custom its followed not even in India

If it is a custom does it become right? Polygamy, Polyandry. slavery, human sacrifice, sati all were CUSTOMS ... it isn't the logic but the custom that is flawed.

Comment: but outside India as well where women after marriage adopt their husbands family name .. (just to point out

Even if it outside India it's still biased. I know you say you are just pointing it out but why do we have this need to compare ourselves to the West when justifying our wrongs?

If it's wrong it's wrong, if it's right it's right.
West following or not following does not make it right or wrong.

Comment: ...my wife still retains her name without any compulsion to add my family name .. )

A huge number - a vast majority of women do that ... it's called Social Conditioning. We just get used to doing certain things in a certain way, and never give it a second thought...
No problem if everybody is really happy with it.

But ask her if she would have preferred if it was customary to give a woman a choice and also a man a choice, (I believe all are equal and men should also be allowed to choose if they'd like their own name or their wives' family's or wife's fist name after their own.)

Comment: But at the same time you need look at wider perspective and pick different examples as well ..

No examples are needed. No need to look for approval. If every leader and celebrity decides to keep their husbands' (or spouses) name, it would still remain wrong to expect a woman to:

1. Give up a name she grew up with or was born to.
2. To think it is 'customary' and hence 'right' that she should adopt her husband's (or his family's) name.

Comment: like Indira 'Gandhi' she adopted her husbands name and then modified it to suit her .. Recently after Bhutto died her son added Bhutto after their name

Those were their choices. Many women may not want to follow their example. Many might. They are not a criteria.

Comment: ... Priya Dutt .. i am sure she would like to be Dutt because that makes her MP

Priya Dutt IS a Dutt, she would not, LIKE TO BE Dutt. She was born a Dutt. And she simply chose to retain that name.

All Dutt children have equal right on the father's (or mother's) name, fame and legacy.

And the name alone does not make her an MP. She has been working with her dad for years, all the while supporting this brother through broken relationships, drug addiction and criminal cases.

I will quote Solilo " ... it is actually Priya who took the name forward. Sanjay just ruined it so even in that sense DUTT belongs to Priya. Sanjay needs to change his last name to something else because he has done enough damage to DUTT. "

If all Indian daughters were allowed to be Priya Dutt, we will see no baby girls being killed.

Comment: .. but now is worried as her bro also is trying to claim part of their father's legacy .. "

It is NOT PRIYA DUTT BUT SANJAY DUTT WHO HAS OBJECTIONS TO HIS SISTERS and all women RETAINING THEIR FAMILY'S NAMES AFTER THEY GET MARRIED.

And of course Sanjay Dutt is worried. He would have preferred it if he could deny them their right to keeping their family name. Like I said in my last post, he believes all inheritance and legacy is RESERVED FOR SONS.

Imagine a man like him might represent the people, including women from Lucknow!

Edited to Add: Bones thinks Sanjay Dutt and Manyata are hoodwinking the public in the name of tradition. Please read it here.
And MadMomma's take on respecting your wife, here.

Reserved for Sons: Family Names (amongst other things)

Sanjay Dutt (Munna Bhai) believes in Gandhi's values. He acted as a Gandhian in a movie.
Do we need a bigger proof?
Fine. Here goes,

i He follows Gandhian principles of simple living and high thinking. Gandhi lived in an ashram. Dutta's ashram is a Rs 3 Crore Luxury Volvo Caravan.

ii Gandhi believed in Non Violence, Sanjay Dutt believes in AK 47s.

iii Gandhi was against alcoholism. Sanjay Dutt found an alternative in drugs.

iv Cyrus Broacha goes on to say Sanjay Dutt's record in jail and more than one wives also makes him particularly suitable for fighting elections in UP.

v Amar Singh agrees.

vi Gandhi thought women and men (along with all other citizens ) are equal.

Sanjay Dutt thinks women must prove their err ... 'respect' for their husbands by adopting the husband's family name. He said in an interview that his sisters are wrong to have retained their biological family's name. And that if his wife did not adopt his family name, he would assume she does not respect his family or him. (Respect has never been simplified like this before!)

And how does Sanjay Dutt prove his respect for his wife(s)?

First wife? By deserting her to fight cancer and to raise their young daughter on her own.
Second wife? .... No respect. Nothing to prove.
Present Wife? By declaring she has more right to his dad's name than the dad's biological daughters?

Now, this always confuses me. On every count.

How come only some biological children are expected to keep their identity?
How does a woman belong to her spouse's caste/religion/region/family etc just because she married him?

Does the husband also go through similar overhauling?
What purpose does it serve ...?

I remember this woman - I will call her Simran Nair [name changed]. She spoke Hinglish, actively joined in all celebrations and I never gave any thought to her surname until she cribbed about missing Lohri celebration in Punjab. She is a Punjabi. Loves aloo parantha (calls them aloo prantha) and the name-change did nothing to change her love for giddha, colorful dupattas and milky chai.
And it can never become her real identity. All it says is she is married to someone from Kerala. Why does she need to announce that to the world?

But Sanjay Dutt is a true Indian. He believes in claiming a right to something he has not earned, just because he was born to it. His family's name is just one example.

His sisters have definitely done a lot more to deserve (For whatever it is worth. I have no value for such things) their Dad's name but Munna Bhai believes the name is rightfully his and his alone - because he is a Son.

Why do we have such Reservations For Sons in India?
Reservation for the right to property
Reservation for the right to Better health care,
Reservation for the right to Better education,
Reservation for the right to Parental devotion and even more, grand parents' love,
Special reservation for the right to life (male foeticide/infanticide is rare)

Family names are just another Symbol of all that is reserved for Sons in our society. Why? Because we are still killing baby girls born or unborn to keep these Family Names going.

[Those who object to Women's Reservation Bill please take note.]

Well, Sanjay Dutt might believe in gender based reservation on family names (and everything else)! But this system of unequal laws makes no sense to me.

I know two bloggers Sindhu and Kislay who have not got their caste/religion/region etc attached to their names. I think such names are the best!

Family/husband's/father's/caste-based names are also avoided easily if we have two word names.

Kislay Chandra
Sindhu
Kishore Kumar
Hema Malini
Rekha
Shabana Aazmi


These guys did fine without family names.

A couple I know has given their one son the dad's name and the other the mom's. (And their middle names are the other parent's first name)

My mom has a two word name which did not belong to her parents or her caste identity, so we never heard of changing of names until we were old enough to wonder at the requirement.

At my nieces wedding as the 'pheras' were coming to an end the family from boys side started cheering,
"Now she has become Aishwarya Bachchan!!!" (names changed!)
And we cheered back,
"Now HE has become 'Abhishek Rai'!!"
I am proud to say, both have retained their names :)

My kids have had to occasionally explain that their dad's name does not follow their names. Their own names are identity enough.
But apart from that we have faced no problems.

Edited to Add: Bones thinks Sanjay Dutt and Manyata are hoodwinking the public in the name of tradition. Please read it here.

Narayana! Narayana!

A friend says during a random conversation, "But you should teach your kids some sanskars."

Me (concerned) : Have they been rude or disrespectful?!

Friend: No they are good kids that way! I meant they don't even know the Gayatri Mantra I am sure!

(They do actually, and some other shlokas too, but I didn't teach them, one of their schools did. )
IHM: Gayatri Mantra? For what?

Friend : They should know!!

IHM: I am not sure even I know the whole of Gayatri mantra ... why is it so necessary? I mean isn't it enough to be honest, help when you can, hurt nobody ... ?

Friend : And next you will say there is no need to go to the temple?

IHM: Well I'd go if there were some Priests there I could respect ...and no money was involved, if there were no rules as to how I dress or which days I can go or not go ... I don't need politics between me and my God.

Friend : You go for God, not priests.

IHM: But why go to a temple for God?

Friend: You pray at home?

IHM: I pray as and when .. anywhere. In the car, when I see starving and sleepy looking babies with runny noses being used for sympathy while begging -I pray they are not kidnapped ... or the day I drove on the highway, to thank God for fulfilling yet another dream...

Friend : You don' need peace of mind.

IHM: I pray for peace too.

Friend: Phew. Your children were will grow up without any sanskar!

[She is not rude we are very close, we talk like that.)

Another friend is busy analyzing the traffic situation as we pass a temple encroaching on the road, her analysis stops, eyes reverently shut and hands joined.

I keep humming and driving.

Traffic Analyzing Friend: If I didn't know you better I'd think you are an atheist!!

IHM: Why what happened?

Traffic Analyzing Friend: Didn't you see that temple? Shankarji is my favourite God!

IHM: He lives only in that temple?

Traffic Analyzing Friend: You sound like an atheist!


And I am thinking of the pot bellied pandit who was called at our place for a Grah Pravesh and demanded Ruffle Lays (Potato chips) left on the kitchen counter by the kids ...

When Narad asked who his favourite devotee was, Narayan named a farmer in a village in Bihar. This really upset Narada because he sang songs of devotion all day, and expected to be the winner of the Best Devotee Trophy.

So Vishnu asked him to watch the farmer in Bihar and Narada found the farmer started his day with a huge yawn saying "Narayana.." and didn't spare a moment after that from his selfish work for maya-moh (bread wining, routine life etc). So Narad went complaining again to Vishnu who explained that real devotion lay in doing your duty.

Amen.

Whose Life Is It Anyway?

What's the best thing modern age (or any other age) gave to women?

I think it has to be a control over how many if any, kids they wish to have.

This post by Bones made me wonder why most organised religions seem to look at contraception so suspiciously.
I think religion fears that contraception might make women and men 'immoral' ...
Or else why do we have derogatory words for babies born out of wedlock?

There are some who think there is nothing as important for women as wanting to be mothers. Such glorification of motherhood also means if you can't or don't wish to have any children there must be something wrong with you. They make me understand why some women 'are actually annoyed that men do not have to undergo labour pains' ;)

The mental level of such thinking is the same as the mental level of my maid's alcoholic husband, who insisted that tubectomy would make it convenient for her to cheat on him!

She had agreed to undergo tubectomy after the birth of her fourth daughter but her family won't even come to meet her in the hospital for days. (Also because she put an end to any hopes of a male baby) .

She was sickly and underweight and it was difficult to imagine her surviving many such pregnancies, but we have a social system that authorizes us to take decisions for, and control other lives.

Sickly or not she didn't care if they abandoned her. She feared that if she died her husband would dump her four unwanted daughters in some orphanage and marry again.
(They were fine eventually. I saw him riding his bicycle with the baby in the basket to keep her happy while the mother tried to finish house work).

Women would have no careers or economic independence, that came with working, without this control over their own bodies.
Can you think of anything else that has changed women's lives as much?

I Heart Technology.

Sister in Texas has bought her own laptop at last! She was sharing her family's computers all this time and no one was happy to share their comps so we ended up talking on the phone most of the time.

Today morning when I called her, she asked me to come online and she showed me her new nails, and (a Leo that she is), also how she styles her hair, which she has cut much shorter.

We walked around our houses with our laptops (with the web cams on) in our hands, and realised our daughters have similar looking messy rooms. Boys rooms are neat! Watching my niece objecting to her room being given bad press that too LIVE was great ... I was safe because my kids were at school ;)

She made me see a painting I had made in school and she has it in her living room. It had been in her living room in India also, but she burst into tears after making a huge surprise out of it being on a wall in a house in a land she did not even know existed as a kid.

I showed her sunlight streaming into our bedrooms, it was night there, I saw the darkness in their porch ... and now - in the afternoon here, when she wakes up in the morning there, we will be back online. I want to see the morning sunlight in her kitchen.

Isn't technology wonderful!!!!!

Don't fall in love NOW!

(One of those 104 drafts.)

I am on my laptop, Daughter (17), is sprawled diagonally across the bed, finishing an school assignment. Son's practicing guitar in his room. Contentment is this.

Suddenly, "How do you know when you are really, reeally in love?"
I thought madam was studying!
"When the guy wants to see you as successful as your own parents do, because nobody can care for you like your own parents can."

"Maaaaa."

"Okay. But this is not a good time for love or even for minor crushes!! You have so much to do, you have seen how your friends waste their time, first celebrating, then crying, break ups, moping, making up or making out and they have no time to think of their future ... you get emotional about a guy at this age and at this crucial stage of your life and all your dreams will go kaput."

"That's why I think you just say you won't mind if I had a boyfriend! If I really had one, you won't like it. Now I know why they (her friends) don't tell their mothers."

(Feeling terribly guilty and wondering if what she says is true ...)
"Okay, being in love, really in love, would be a best friend cum crush, with maybe some chemistry thrown in?"

"Yeah, and someone who likes me the way I am, I shouldn't need to pretend ..."

"Meaning he gets to see how you keep your room? Okay, someone whose parents you like, someone who can come home, and walk into the kitchen and discuss my blog with me ? You saw 'Jaane tu ya jaane na' - that's a cool relationship."

She can see 'he' is not that kind. I am just not sure I have said the right things. Maybe my confused Indian values make me wish she'd stay away from any boy friends until she's settled with a good career ... we are fed with so much t, c & mv ( Traditions, Culture and Moral Values) that when a trusting heart wants you to be a friend you are not sure what to say.

SOME ADVISE PLEASE!

Why Indians Don't Hate Hitler.

[Another one from those 104 drafts :)]

Hitler was never unpopular in India because he was considered the 'Enemy's Enemy', i.e. Britain's enemy. School principals or strict teachers in India are nick named Hitler all the time. All we knew during our school years was that he was a dictator.We were ignorant. Unlike now, Indian schools did not teach European History we never learnt much about exactly what Hitler did. Hitler's Cross Restaurant in Mumbai is an example of our ignorance, not malice.


CBSE syllabus has changed recently and WW I and WW II have been included. Thank God! Why do I care whether we study Hitler or not? Because the biggest benefit of studying history is to learn from the mistakes our ancestors made.
Here's a video that shows what the allied soldiers found when they reached one of the concentration camps. Holocast crimes were taken very seriously and even today you will not find any statues of Hitler anywhere there. India could learn this lesson from the West, human life and human rights are taken seriously over there.
(Graphic images. User discretion is advised.)



Do you know, there are many in India today who quote Gandhi one moment and next talk about Hitler as a role model, Raj Thakre and Modi are two such people. It's sad because the guy they worship would have sent them to holocaust too. Hitler was strongly racial, he was against Romanians, Blacks, Slovakians, Gypsies, (we come in this category, for Hitler, no matter how much 'fair & lovely' we apply), homosexuals, physically and mentally disabled and anyone who opposed him.
I also doubt the veracity of the sporting folklore that Hitler was so impressed by Dhyan Chand's sorcery with the stick that he offered him an officer's commission in the Wermacht.

1.Here's a book that is not just about Jews but about a Polish woman (although I have provided a link I recommend don't read it, it's a spoiler), just read the book, called Sophie's Choice. If you don't wish to read the fat book, follow the link. The book was so disturbing it was banned from some libraries (Wikipedia), no banning is required they should just warn the readers. It isn't physical cruelty but a choice the mother had to make that made me not just cry but for a while hate the book.

2.Night by Elie Weisel is a young boy's story , about how he is afraid to help his father because he is afraid of the soldiers....read summary here. It's a part of the syllabus in many schools.

3.Anne Frank's Diary - I think everybody has read this one. It's like reading the teenager's blog posts.

4. Boys from Brazil by -94 men must die, all around the same age, 59 if I remember correctly, all in similar jobs, living in many different countries all over Europe and America...all have young wives and sons around the same age. The sons are all light skinned, blue eyed, artistic, sensitive, very bright boys who are very close to their mothers...
What's this book got to with Hitler? Well if you know enough about Hitler you should have guessed by now! If you don't then the book will be a learning experience. It's a thriller. Very engrossing.

5. Shadow Life - (Bought from Scholastic book fair, basically meant for kids) What happened to Anne Frank after they were discovered by the SS Guards? Read about 'the final days of Anne and Margot, as well as other rarely seen details.'

Do add some more books and movies to the list.

I wish those who talk of Hitler's achievements will talk of Lennon, Martin Luther King Jr, and John Lennon ...

When Gabbar Singh met Veeru :)

The cat who loves me :)

[This is from those 104 unpublished drafts]

Enid Blyton created Fatty's Buster - any child's dream companion. I found mine at ten and she followed me everywhere for the next eleven years. At ten, I remember living with the guilty secret that if the house was on fire I would save this loyal and ferocious Pomeranian first.

On 26 Jan 2001 when the Bhuj Earth Quake rattled our french windows in Delhi, my daughter, then nine, won't come out unless the dog and the cat were taken along.

Recently Husband was home after a long time and the-love-starved-dogs, Gabbar Singh and Mutt, (we torture them when he is away) were going berserk. One of them suddenly growled in jealousy and thinking they were going to fight, I shrieked loud enough to wake all neighborhood.

And guess who heard the shriek and came to the rescue?

A cat the size of the Labrador's mouth.

He ran from between the table legs and under the chairs and charged at the startled Labrador, Gabbar Singh. It was a sight worth seeing!!!

Now somebody try telling me Cats are not loyal and protective :-) Shouldn't we call him Veeru?

PS Nobody as much as got a scratch, the cat was picked up, still glaring, at the puzzled Lab, Gabbar Singh.

Men Will Be Men :)

Some Joru Ke Gulam (JKG) I am proud of : )
[Edited to add: In India it takes a lot of guts for a man to take a stand against customs that oppress women, it's worst if he is fighting in support of his wife (Joru)! All such acts of courage are rewarded by labeling them as JKGs = Joru Ka Gulam. Literal meaning: 'Slave of Wife']

My grandfather in 1950s-1960s telling his four educated daughters that financial independence came before marriage.

My Dad at 21 in 1960s, traveling ticket-less to break a sister’s engagement – without letting his dad know, just because she didn’t like the boy and wrote to him from her hostel. (She lived a very happily married life, with my late Uncle. None of the horrible things my grandparents foretold happened to her because of the broken engagement.)

The look on my brother’s face when someone suggested he at least finds out if his unborn baby is a girl or a boy.

Also my brother saying, “… let me discuss with my wife before deciding.”

My husband, brothers in law, Dad, friends, friends' husbands saying the same thing.

My husband putting his foot down when I attempted to serve him hot hot chapatties, the way my mom had been doing. (I really thought he was going too far).

My husband supporting my stand against the ritual of kanyadan .

A friend’s husband wanted to touch his mom in law’s feet, she jumped away, “Sons in law don’t touch feet in our side, they are poojya.” He touched her feet anyway, saying, “But Sons do? Right?”

My brother in law (Husband’s elder brother) asking a gathering of relatives of all backgrounds, “Anyone for tea, I am making masala chai for myself …?” - on my first day at my in laws place. (I nearly swooned.)

Dad rejecting proposals because NO girls in this family will be married into joint families.

Dad making sure all the married daughters and sisters attend all the functions/parties at their parents’ house. And once when he sensed some resistance, he landed there to pick her. (Of course he picked her, with the nicest smile too … )

All those friends’ husbands who pass tea to us while we are gossiping, just because they were making it for themselves anyway.

My son – well, everything about him, I guess. He has no idea he is in anyway privileged because he is a boy. He is a future JKG for sure!

Some favorite bloggers’ families : )

Some favorite bloggers :)

My nephew refusing to accept an Air gun as a gift (he was ten then), he wanted a guitar and didn’t care how unmanly the older generation thought it was.

Son sitting on the kitchen counter, passing me shelled peas, talking about this and that while I give tarka …

Son making sandwiches.

Shah Rukh khan ; )

Feel free to add more to the list!

Edited to add: Read more about JKGs here :)

It's not about hot hot chappaties.

Somewhere in the blogosphere ...

The topic of discussion : Some women make hot chappaties for their family and finally eat alone only when everybody else has eaten.

The comment: But, if a woman loves to give "garam garam roti" to her husband and kids without any compulsion, straight or oblique, then we should not snatch her joy by being judgmental in a superior sort of way. It is not what you do but why you do what you do that is important. / Did I say there is anything wrong in the whole family eating together? It is something to be cherished...but if someone follows a different way, without compulsion ..

Why this bothers me:

1. We all know how much real choice do Indian women have in most matters, so let's not even talk of no compulsion, oblique or straight.
Is it really okay for a woman to have cold chappaties after the family has eaten ?
Why should one family member ignore their own comforts?
Does she feel this will make her more likable ?

2. It also means that the girl who does not stand in the kitchen making hot chapatties for her family and is perhaps a little less willing to suffer for them, is not as good ...

3. But most of all it shows that the men and the children in that family feel no compunction in allowing this sacrifice. Why don't the sons, the daughters, the husbands and the in laws put their foot down and refuse to let her eat alone?

Obviously she believes that they can enjoy a meal without her?
What in their attitude made her believe that they will not mind her eating alone, after they have all eaten?

The Comment:we should not be judgmental and disturb the harmony that exists.

The biggest myth is this harmony. There is no harmony here, or else we will not have anonymous blogs, emails and comments from wives, daughters in law and girls who hate this system and all that it stands for.

The Comment: At the same time, positive education is needed to ensure that discrimination based on gender, that which is in the mind, is eradicated.

Reminds me of our politicians "I condemn the dastardly acts of terrorists/violence against innocent citizens...We will /not tolerate /make sure this never happens again ...
Why? Read the next sentence!

Frankly, I feel that this thing about "equality" is being stretched too far in some cases.

How does equality NOT get stretched too far? By accepting a little equality and an occasional inequality?
As in we will allow a daughter in law to visit her parents but only twice a year...?
As in we will allow the first child to be a baby girl, but second daughters not allowed? Or as in we will permit you to work but we will not help with house work?

The comment continues : Why should it mean only doing what men do?

How many women has this commenter seen trying to do what men do?
And what do only men do that women mustn't?
Play football? Have careers? Be independent? Drive? Wear jeans?
Enjoy a late night outing? Be self reliant? Have fun with friends?
Refuse to live in a joint family? Love her own parents even after she is married?
Or just wish to sit and eat with the rest of the family :(

I know of real women, brought up with this sort of conditioning, who are actually annoyed that men do not have to undergo labour pains and go through nine months of pregnancy...why should the woman alone suffer, is the argument.

When I had nausea during the first trimester of my pregnancy we were at a party and this bachelor (from Haryana btw) said "All these problems happen only to city girls, in my village women go back to working in the fields soon after the baby is born."
I did not ask (always think of it later) what the Pregnancy related mortality rate in Haryana was, but today we know why with this attitude, has Haryana got the worst girl:boy ratio in the country.

So please understand why women say such stuff. I am sure I would have loved it if this guy whose face and name I don't remember, was given one day of my nausea.

I know you will find it silly, but try telling that to them and they will say that this discrimination exists because God is a male!

You mean, you know for sure that God has a gender!!?
Sita, Duga, Laxmi are male?
Who created a male God? Who decided that God is male?
You will never hear me say any such thing because my God is gender less :)

Of Viragoes, Shrews and Tom Boys.

Q. 1 You are (choose one)
1. Feminine ?
2. Masculine ?
3. Err.. ?

Ans: I'd like to be ME please.


Q. 2 Are women naturally feminine, gentle, mild mannered and nurturing?
Ans: No. Women (just like men) come in all kinds of temperaments. Some are gentle some are not, some are nurturing some have no interest in kids, some are mild mannered, some are aggressive.


Q. 3 Why not all?
Ans. I guess nature made them (us) all different!


Q. 4 Are the unfeminine ones abnormal or unnatural?
Ans: LOL what a dumb question!!! No.


Q. 5 Are the one's who are unfeminine undeserving of respect?
Ans: No more than unfeminine men :) This is a dumb discussion!


Q. 6 Whose respect?
Ans: I think it is important that they respect themselves first. This goes for all humans, even children.

Q. 7 Isn't being respected important for women?
Ans: As much as any other human. No more. No less. And it isn't a matter of life or death (as in honor killing).


Q. 8 If a woman expects to be treated as an equal human, is she being radical?
Ans: As radical as Democracy. All humans should be treated as equals. All children and even all men.


Q. 9 If a woman is being aggressive, rude or arrogant does she still deserve respect?
Ans: Any human - man or woman being rude, arrogant or aggressive needs to count till ten. (To begin with).


Q. 10 Doesn't a woman's charm lie in her being gentle and feminine?
Ans: I think her charm lies in being herself. Beauty and charm come in all shapes and sizes.


Koi Shaque? (Any doubts or disagreements?)

Religion Makes Us Kind and Good!?

I read a comment that says Religion Makes Us Kind and Good.

I have no doubt that religion was created to make us kind and good.

But unfortunately for centuries (and that is a lot of trial time!)

1. Religion has been open to misuse and misinterpretation, and has always been open to modifications by local social customs. Most of the time the followers can't make out religion from custom.

So widows are still looked down upon, girls are still not individuals, they are a family's 'honor', innocent babies born to unwed mothers are still left to grow up in orphanages, homosexuality is still considered a sin and some of us (including women) are always born lower than the others.

2. And all religions are biased against women. Most religions don't even talk about gender equality!
Laws not religion support women and for that, in India, we better thank our founding fathers!!

3. All religions were suited for the time they were created. Maybe.
Or were they created with the sole aim to gain power? Whatever ... Today most religions have definitely outlived their use.
Today we see ignorance and superstitious dogma being passed off as 'tradition' and religion all the time.

I wish I could believe that religion makes us Kind and Good!

I think it's not religion but our Constitution that has changed the lives of Indian citizens and even more powerfully, of Indian women.

Law helped Raja Ram Mohan Roy ban Sati.
It gave us Equal status.
Gave women (and other unequal citizens) the Right to vote.
Made giving and taking of dowry an offense.
Gave us the Domestic Violence Act,
- This made marital rape a crime
- And this also protects live in partners from violence and abuse.
Made sex-selective abortions a crime.
Made Polygamy an offense.
Gave women equal right to their children (not sure if it is still totally unbiased).
Gave equal property rights to women. (lots more needed here)
Sexual harassment was made a crime.
It allowed the children born to unwed mothers to get maintenance and a share in their father's property.

Basically undid a lot of damage done by religion, culture and tradition.

What makes an offender think twice, fear of God or fear of jail?

How Do You Write A Blog Post?

Switch the kettle on.
Click New Post on the blogger dashboard.
Start drinking tea ... Read two new comments :) Feel on top of the world.

Type a sentence for a new post called 'The Life and Times of the Handsomest Cat in the World'.

Sneak a peek at the Blogs I follow. A blogger wonders if we need Religion! Good question! Can we ban religion? No, that would be most undemocratic! We need Law and order and our Democracy more than we need religion I think.

Wasn't religion created just to bring some order in our lives? To make us behave? But then some might say, we were created for religion not religion for us!
Manage to leave a much shorter comment than tempted to.

Back to the Handsomest Cat ...
Look for a picture to add to the (unwritten) Handsomest Cat post.
Sister's call. She's bought a laptop, the configuration is discussed in greatest details.
Remember the post on the Cat's antics ... Start typing again.

Take an absent minded peek at the Recently Updated Blogs, and stare in disbelief. But a click confirms that somebody does really think that World Peace is only for Miss World contestants, we ordinary mortals must have War.

Start typing again. It's a different post.
Gym friend calls. The call lasts only 30 seconds.

Not sure what a Nawab's kingdom is called! Disturb busy blogging friends ... Answer: A Dominion or a Presidency. Thanks!

Publish the post.

I wonder how everybody else writes their posts!
Do some bloggers sit down and and write in one go?
How long does it take to write a post? Do you end up writing posts that are too long or too short?
What kind of posts do you write most easily? Does it depend on how you are feeling at the time?

One look at the 104 unpublished drafts has made my New Year Resolution very easy : I resolve to lead a more disciplined life in the year 2009 :)

The First Morning of 2009 :)

My granddad used to say he couldn't understand the idea of dancing into the New Year and then beginning the first morning of the year getting over the fatigue (and hangover). So I always make an effort to get up early on the New Year's first morning.

Since the kids have no such memories, they slept, Husband also called from the other end of the world and wished and went off to sleep.

Gabbar Singh the Lab doesn't care what morning it is. He followed me to the kitchen and sat down eagerly wagging his tail for the most exciting event of the day. His morning bowl of milk! He is the most over enthusiastic creature I have seen :)

The cat also sits on the counter never stepping too close to the hot electric kettle.
The other dog is sleeping diagonally across my bed, like a turtle upside down. She only wakes up when the kids do.

Despite all kind of furniture rearrangements we are just not able to get wi-fi to reach till a favorite sofa in the living room, so I open some favorite blogs in fifteen or more tabs in Firefox and carry the lap top and a cup of Twinning's lemon flavored tea for an hour or two of peaceful blog reading. (It's still too early to wake up and wish any friends and family) ... I think that's a great way to begin a New Year Morning :)